Contents
- 1. You have a rich emotional vocabulary
- 2. You are interested in people
- 3. You are open to change.
- 4. You know how to refuse
- 5. You give without expecting anything in return.
- 6. You enjoy what you have.
- 7. You get enough sleep
- 8. You don’t let anyone ruin your joy.
- 9. You know how to switch
- 10. You don’t strive for perfection.
The richest and most influential are not always the smartest. The key to success, fame and career lies in emotional intelligence: an interest in your own and others’ feelings, the ability to understand and manage them.
When emotional intelligence (EI) was discovered and described in 1990, it finally became clear why, seven times out of ten, people with an average IQ achieve more in life than those whose IQ is above average.
After a quarter of a century of research, scientists agree on one thing: it is the measure of emotional intelligence, or emotional quotient (EQ), that distinguishes outstanding people from ordinary people: 90% of outstanding members of society have a high EQ.
Despite its importance, finding precise criteria for “calculating” emotional intelligence is not so easy. However, there are several signs, the presence of which indicates a high level of emotional development. Think about how they apply to you – this will help you understand your strengths and weaknesses.
1. You have a rich emotional vocabulary
All people experience many different feelings, but not everyone is able to recognize and name their emotional state at the moment. Research shows that only 36% of us have this skill. All others face difficulties because they do not understand their emotions, and this often leads to irrational and meaningless actions.
People with high EQ know the art of writing off shades and semitones of experiences: where an ordinary person will say that he feels “bad”, an emotionally developed person will describe his feelings more precisely: “I am annoyed”, “angry”, “humiliated”, “tense”, “upset “. The more precisely the word is chosen, the clearer the reason and how to deal with it.
2. You are interested in people
Whether he is an extrovert or an introvert, a person with a high EQ is interested in other people. This curiosity is a direct consequence of the tendency to empathy, that is, the ability to put oneself in the place of the interlocutor. Thanks to her, emotionally developed people make contact with others much easier.
3. You are open to change.
High EQs are constantly changing and adapting to circumstances. Instead of being afraid of change, they wait for it and think ahead.
4. You know how to refuse
Emotional intelligence, among other things, involves self-control. The ability to deny yourself and others is the most important sign of emotional development.
A study from the University of South Carolina found that having to say “no” is stressful, but people with high EQ are good at saying no directly, avoiding vague phrases like “I don’t think” or “I’m not sure I can.” By directly abandoning a new task, we thereby show how important the obligations already assumed are to us.
5. You give without expecting anything in return.
An unexpected gift always makes the strongest impression. For example, you discussed with a friend of a writer whose latest book he has not yet read. You end the conversation, quite pleased with each other, and agree to meet again sometime. Next time you take that very last book with you and hand it to your friend. What’s not the perfect start to a friendship?
6. You enjoy what you have.
When we think about what we can be grateful for, our mood automatically improves, and the level of the stress hormone – cortisol – decreases by an average of 23%. The habit of thanking fate every day not only improves mood, but also gives vitality to cope with difficulties and open up new horizons.
7. You get enough sleep
Few things damage EQ more than lack of sleep. During sleep, the brain literally recharges, scrolling through and sorting through the memories of the day. People with high EQ understand that lack of sleep reduces their intellectual and emotional abilities and increases their stress levels, so they always make sure that they get enough sleep.
8. You don’t let anyone ruin your joy.
If whether you are happy or sad depends on other people’s opinions, you are no longer in control of your own life. An emotionally developed person rejoices without regard to others, even if everyone around him thinks that he rejoices in vain.
Of course, it is impossible to completely ignore the outside world and other people’s opinions, but no one will forbid you to treat them with a share of irony – and then no one will be able to take away your self-esteem.
9. You know how to switch
The ability to escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life is also a sign of high emotional intelligence. This skill is important because if you are in touch 24/7, doing something all the time, redoing, moonlighting, your stress level will skyrocket pretty soon.
It is necessary to disconnect from time to time – go to the country, turn off the laptop, do not answer the phone: give your body and mind a break. They will thank you a hundredfold.
10. You don’t strive for perfection.
Emotionally intelligent people know that perfection doesn’t exist and don’t try to achieve it. We are all not without sin and we are all imperfect, so if we set an unattainable ideal as a goal, the result will leave us with a gnawing feeling of incompleteness and failure, which will not want to take on a new business.
It is much more correct not to strive for the ideal, but to act in stages, breaking a large task into several small ones, in order to rejoice at what has already been achieved and look forward to future successes.