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It is one thing when you are denied a position because you are too experienced and will be bored in a new position because of simple tasks. And it’s completely different when your partner says that he doesn’t deserve you. What is behind his words? And what to do if you yourself consider yourself unworthy of a loved one?
1. The partner is not ready to invest in a relationship
Saying that you are too good for him, the partner is trying to flatter you and sweeten the bitter pill of parting. In reality, these words most likely mean that the person has lost interest in you or has met someone else. Or maybe he is just not ready for relationships and obligations at the moment.
2. He sincerely believes that he is not worthy of you
Perhaps, having started dating you, the partner decided that he pulled out a lucky ticket, because you are “much higher level” or even “out of the league”. But over time, jubilation could be replaced by self-doubt: what, in fact, can he offer you to keep next to him?
Fear and low self-esteem can push a person to break a completely happy relationship. But to do so is to make a huge mistake, if only because partners cannot be the same in everything. They differ:
characters
Two equally patient, kind, intelligent, modest and erudite people cannot be found. One will always be both superior and inferior to the other in certain areas, which is quite natural.
Career success and aspirations
As we remember, everything changes. Today, a partner earns more than you, and tomorrow, it is quite possible that everything will be the other way around: for example, if he changes his field of activity or goes on parental leave.
In addition, one of you can make a dizzying climb up the career ladder, and the other can work all his life in one place, putting his soul into the performance of his duties. And both will be happy. Therefore, it is meaningless to compare different professional paths.
Unique Features
One of you may be allergic to detergents, and the other may have a food allergy that excludes up to 60% of the products from the usual menu. Or another feature that a partner may be embarrassed about. In any case, only the two of you will know about it — it may seem to the public that you are unspeakably lucky, because you, «representing nothing», were chosen by the «ideal» partner.
Do not let the voice of the public make you doubt your union, even if from the outside your couple looks like an obvious misalliance, and you two are like representatives of different worlds.
If you keep thinking that the person you love is «too good» for you, remember this: they chose you. Exactly you. So, you are valuable and dear to him. You are special.
How to deal with doubt
Do you still think that someone is unworthy? You may find it easier if you work on becoming worthy. Let the beautiful image of a partner motivate you to change in life, but try to change not for his sake (or public opinion), but for yourself.
Watching the transformation and growth of a person nearby, realizing that you are at least indirectly involved in these processes, is especially pleasant. Moreover, in relations with those who strive to become better, I want to invest even more. Therefore, let the thought “he is too good for me” become for you not a stumbling block, but a spark from which the flame of true partnership will flare up.
Do not try to achieve everything at once — follow the path of small but noticeable changes. Learn to listen, pay attention to your health, take the first steps in cooking if you are interested in it — all this is no less important than trying to “reach out” to a partner in terms of finances or appearance.
From a long-term relationship perspective, who you are today isn’t everything. What is more important is who you can become tomorrow.