Not every sexual intercourse ends with a long-awaited discharge, and this is not unusual. But if we never orgasm (or very rarely), it’s worth finding out if we’re suffering from anorgasmia. What is this condition and how to get rid of it?
What is anorgasmia
Anorgasmia is a sexual disorder in which there is no orgasm at all or it is rarely achieved. Most often it occurs in women and can occur both during sex with a partner and during masturbation.
Why is this happening? There are many reasons for anorgasmia, and in order to find the right way to deal with it, you must first determine what type of anorgasmia is typical for you.
Anorgasmia is either primary or secondary. With primary anorgasmia, we never get to the final and do not experience relaxation: neither with a partner, nor when we caress ourselves. With secondary anorgasmia, we sometimes achieve orgasm, but this happens rarely and most often it takes a lot of effort.
There is also situational anorgasmia: in this case, satisfaction can only be obtained in certain positions or when we have a certain type of sex (for example, oral).
In addition, coital anorgasmia occurs. We can talk about it when we reach orgasm in different ways, but not during sexual intercourse. And general anorgasmia, when we do not enjoy sex at all.
At the same time, one should not confuse anorgasmia and frigidity: with frigidity, a woman does not experience arousal at all and does not want intimacy in any form.
Causes of anorgasmia
Our ability to experience orgasms is influenced by many factors. It is important not only the physical condition of a person, but also the psychological, emotional.
The physical causes of anorgasmia include gynecological diseases, diabetes mellitus, multiple sclerosis, and others. The causes of male anorgasmia can be trauma (in particular, spinal injuries), vascular disease, varicocele (testicular varicose veins, which is eliminated by surgery in the groin area), hormonal disorders, diabetes and, of course, prostatitis.
The ability to have an orgasm is also affected by the intake of certain medications, for example, antidepressants, antipsychotics, antihistamines. Alcohol enhances sexual desire, but it will not help to get satisfaction, rather, on the contrary, it will interfere with this.
Psychological factors also play an important role — the stresses that we experience especially often now, depression, financial difficulties. Also, the fear of getting pregnant or the feeling of shame that comes from childhood prevents us from relaxing and reaching the final. Perhaps as a child we heard that sex is dirty, shameful, sinful. With such attitudes, it can be difficult for us to relax, and in this case, working with a psychologist will help.
What to do if you suspect you have anorgasmia?
First of all, you need to determine the cause of anorgasmia. To do this, you need to make an appointment with a specialist who will provide qualified assistance.
Men, in order to get rid of anorgasmia, need to contact an andrologist, urologist or endocrinologist, women — to an endocrinologist or gynecologist.
If these doctors do not find any violations or abnormalities in the organic, both women and men need to contact either a sexologist or a psychotherapist.
Absolutely not worth self-medicating. Men sometimes use drugs that increase sexual arousal, which often leads to complications. Such drugs bring temporary relief, but only eliminate the effect of the problem, not the cause.