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Ten years ago, it was difficult for women to achieve leadership positions. Today, many of them work in areas that were traditionally considered male, and lead male teams. But it is very difficult for such women to arrange a personal life. Why do mature women and young men want to be together?
Successful women know that skyrocketing career advancement, a seat on a board of directors, and a yearly bonus come at a cost. Peers and older men are often afraid to enter into a relationship with a woman who has achieved a lot.
It is not easy for such a woman: intensive work and daily responsibility leave an imprint on her character. She can be blunt and intolerant of weaknesses. And this frightens men who are more accustomed to the image of a woman-mother and the keeper of the hearth.
But young men are accustomed to perceive a woman as an equal partner: many of them grew up surrounded by successful women, read their success stories in magazines and social networks. They are drawn to such women, because they can teach them a lot, guide, motivate.
But in the way of relations between a young man and a mature woman, there are condemnation of the environment, numerous prejudices and the fear that such relationships are short-lived.
Advice for women: how to deal with doubts
You have spent a lot of time and effort to reach your current position, and now you are fighting a female leader and one who craves romance and male support. All this can be obtained from a young man. Your confidence and life experience is what he lacks. And there is openness, sincerity and a thirst for new knowledge and sensations in him, and this appeals to you.
Some women cannot decide on unequal relationships: it seems to them that they will have to play the role of a mother. These fears are unfounded. The need for a mother is associated with the emotional immaturity of the partner, and not with biological age. 50-year-old men are also infantile.
Try to think less about the age difference. This will save you from doubts and questions to yourself: “Am I too old for him?” or “Are we mistaken for mother and son?” Better say to yourself: «We are drawn to each other, and the rest does not matter.»
In a relationship, it is important to move away from your usual guiding manner of communication.
- Trust your partner to plan dates.
- Encourage conversations about his plans, dreams, and career. It is important for him to feel that, despite the difference in age, you take him seriously and appreciate his contribution to the relationship.
- Let him dominate in intimate relationships — let him show what he is capable of. From time to time take the initiative in your hands to bring something new.
If a young man turns out to be a reliable partner and a gentle lover, after a while you will forget about the age difference.
Advice for men: how to prove that your intentions are serious
You like this woman, and you are not embarrassed by her age and position. You can see how romantic, sensual and sexy she is. To showcase your best qualities and make her take you seriously, pay attention to the following points:
- Organize unusual dates: this way you will show how much you care about her.
- Talk about everything in the world, share problems and doubts, ask for advice.
- Ask her about her career, about how she managed to achieve success.
Age difference is not a reason to leave a relationship. Whatever friends or statistics say, your life is unique and it’s up to you to decide who you’ll be happy with.
About the author: Susan Lachmann is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist.