Why some people are unhappy to see the happiness of others

Why some people are unhappy to see the happiness of others

Psychology

Although it can mostly be related to envy, it is worth opening the mind a little more and thinking that, perhaps, that person’s attitude means that they are not prepared to connect with the happiness of others because they cannot find their own

Is it envy or indifference that some people feel when you tell them something good that has happened to you? Envy, according to the Royal Spanish Academy, is defined as a feeling or mental state in which there is pain or misery por no poseer uno mismo lo que tiene el otro, sea en bienes, cualidades superiores u otra clase de cosas tangibles e intangibles.

Lo cierto es que muchas veces se pone el foco en la envidia que se puede llegar a sentir cuando otra persona tiene algo que uno querría para sí mismo tener pero la psicología Patricia Fernández considera que es necesario preguntarnos qué hay debajo de esa envidia. «Debajo de ella está la no responsibility en cuanto a los actos que una persona sí que hizo vs la que no. Es decir, yo puedo tener envidia de que una persona haya encontrado trabajo pero en el fondo pueden haber otras emociones más como la frustration and sadness because I did not start looking for work, to take those steps that the other person did take to get closer to their goal, “explains the psychologist.

So, and despite the fact that it can mostly be related to envy, it is worth opening the mind a little more and thinking that, perhaps, that person’s attitude means that they are not prepared to connect with the joy of others and with the happiness of others because his own cannot find it and that would suppose even greater discomfort. Patricia Fernández explains that many times it is a protection method: seeing happy and happy couples when perhaps a break is being overcome intensifies the discomfort and regret … «There are those who avoid directly knowing or knowing about someone’s happiness with the ultimate aim of do not rethink your own.

Características de estas personas

Therefore, the happiness of others can hurt because it can make us connect with our own unhappiness. ¿Por qué concretamente? Porque puede hacer que nos planteemos preguntas cuyas respuestas nos molestarían e incluso dañaría responder. Patricia Fernández alerta de que esto es más común de lo que pensamos: «Cuando uno tiene esa feeling of discomfort Faced with the happiness of others, I encourage you to ask yourself what is the reason for that feeling and what that person could do to not feel it ».

However, this does not have to happen with any aspect of life; For example, it is more frequent that someone who suffers from heartbreak when seeing a super happy and in love couple can upset or be envious, but if that same couple has achieved other goals that are not in the interest of those who suffer with the happiness of others , there does not have to appear suffering or envy.

However, there are some characteristics in common of those who are often not happy about the good of others, although Patricia Fernández does not agree to generalize: «I would not dare to generalize about« this type of people »but it is true that those people who feel that feeling of envy before the happiness of others may be because they tend to move between three general characteristics.

— Always stay in the comparison. Comparing yourself with others means that you can always find someone who is better than you and who, therefore, can be annoying.

— Have an inner critical judge. Having a voice that always reminds you that you could be better and that if Fulanita / o can, why not you. It begins then, to draw defects that, far from encouraging, diminish the capacity and personal worth.

— Low self esteem. When people are envious, they can have low self-esteem and come to think that the human being is valuable and important based on what they have (materially or personally) rather than for the simple fact of being.

«Si en algún momento una persona nota que suele estar irascible y molesta ante el bienestar y la felicidad ajena, siempre puede solicitar ayuda a un profesional de la salud mental que le ayude a revertir dicha situación», aconseja Patricia Fernández.