It happens, and often, that the power in the family belongs to the child. What are the reasons for this? What are the implications of this?
Typical reasons
- Strong child and weak parents.
- The struggle between parents, where the child acts as a lever of pressure.
Usually, in order for such a lever to act stronger, the interested parent (more often the mother) begins to elevate the role of the child. He becomes God, and mother becomes the Mother of God. Mom (like) wins, but in fact the child turns out to be the head of the family. See →
- A child-manipulator and loving parents who bring him up in a flow of love according to the maternal model.
Here, parents can be smart, talented and strong, but due to their ideological attitudes, they know that the child should only be loved (that is, only comfort and joy should be provided to him) and that he should not be upset. In this situation, the child-manipulator seizes power instantly and then begins to educate (train) the parents according to his own project. See →
Aftermath
Usually sad. However, if the children are kind, then they mock their parents for a short time, not much, and they may well grow up to be decent people on their own.
What is the right way then?
Reflections in the article: Red cat, or Who is the head of the family
Experiment «Anarchy»
The child refused to participate in household chores, arguing that he did not need it, and he wanted to do something else. “I don’t want to clean up the toys, you need to clean them up. I want to play on the phone.»
I offered him «Anarchy», that is, we do only what we want. I warned that this option applies to all family members.
The child was delighted and wanted to live in such a way. The experiment started at 14:00 pm.
During the day, the child did whatever he wanted (within the framework of the legislation of the Russian Federation). The parents did the same. Each is his own director. He played, walked, took the toys he wanted to the street. See →