“Unpredictable”, the second is difficult to pinpoint: “He is the free spirit of the family or the most likely to annoy his siblings. When three children are quietly watching TV, if you suddenly hear screaming, you can bet the younger one came to disturb the peace! “ notes Michael Grose. Why ? Because the second seeks his place between an elder – especially if they are less than two years apart – for whom he does not accept orders, and the youngest on whom he is “avenging”!
When it is closer in age to the first than to the next, the second follows in the footsteps of its elder. “If the first is responsible and serious, the second risks being a problem child” notes Michael Grose.
The more the eldest and the youngest are close in age, the more their relationship is paradoxical – punctuated by periods of strong rivalry and complicity – especially if they are of the same sex, considers Françoise Peille *, clinical psychologist. |
“Adaptable” child
In general, the second learns to adapt very early on. Baby, he is brought up to the rhythm of the life of the elder: his meals, his trips to school etc. His adaptability, later earned him to be more flexible than his eldest.
Moreover, as he knows that he cannot charm his elder brother to achieve his ends, he negotiates to make compromises. Which gives him the reputation of a fine diplomat!
* Author of Brothers and Sisters, everyone is looking for their place (Ed. Hachette Pratique)