In our life there are many different events, some of them successful, others less successful. Some make you feel good, others don’t. But if you carefully look at everything that is happening around, then at some point you understand — events not writtenwhat they are and not told how to respond to them. It’s just that we are used to interpreting some events this way and others differently.
The best part is that it only our choice, and we can change it. At the University of Practical Psychology they teach this technique, the exercise is called «Problem — Task».
Yes, many events are perceived as a problem:
- They have to pay attention
- We have to look for their solution.
- You have to waste time to do something with them.
But you can greatly simplify your life if you simply call such events and situations in a different way. Not problems, but challenges. Simply because they will evoke completely different associations in us.
For fun, try saying two versions of the phrase to yourself and listen to your feelings:
- Damn this is a big problem.
- Wow, this is an interesting challenge.
The difference is cardinal, but we will have to work in the state that the wording caused.
- Damn, now you have to follow your wording — the problem
- Cool, you can just follow the wording and it will become easier to work, an interesting task
It is important that you understand correctly: tasks are like problems, they also need to be paid attention to, look for their solution and invest your time in them. But unlike a problem — you want to do it with tasks, tasks are interesting and their solution brings tangible benefits.
How to set tasks correctly
The interesting thing is that you can not only set tasks, but also improve them:
- Speed up their decision
- Making the search for a solution more pleasant and interesting
First of all, you need to pay attention to the wording of the problem. Formulations are:
- Negative — avoiding something bad, fighting something
- Positive — striving for something good, creating something
Often, a negative task is formulated first — this is normal. It is important to develop the habit of immediately remaking negative tasks into positive ones, simply because they are easier and more enjoyable to solve.
Setting a negative task is simple:
- I want to stop arguing with everyone
- I don’t want to be lazy
- I want to get rid of loneliness
Here it is written about avoiding the problem, but nowhere is it said — but how do you want it to be? There is no motivating factor. No vision for the end result.
- You can add motivation
- It is important to build a picture in which you want to come
To formulate a positive task, it is convenient to ask yourself the question: “What do you want? To HOW was it?
- I want to learn how to talk to people warmly and kindly
- I want to learn how to easily and with pleasure take on any business
- I want a lot of interesting communication and meetings with people
- I want to learn how to formulate all my tasks positively, so that it happens easily and imperceptibly
When this becomes a habit, it will really happen easily and imperceptibly, you will even be surprised how negative tasks can be set, and you don’t even remember about the formulation of problems.
How to do the exercise
It is convenient to perform the exercise in two stages.
Stage I
At the first stage, the task is to learn to track the formulation of problems and tasks. For the time being, it is not necessary to correct or reformulate something, just start to notice where the formulations of tasks are, and where there are problems.
You can track both direct wording in speech, and the internal attitude to something, like a task, and where a problem.
You can follow these formulations:
- In my speech and thoughts
- In the speech of other people: relatives, friends or colleagues
- The heroes of films, books, in the news
- Wherever you are interested
If you want, you can keep statistics. Every time you notice a wording during the day, mark the amount in a notebook or on your phone (it’s more convenient when you have notes at hand). Usually noted:
- How many times a day were the formulations of problems
- How many times the wording of the tasks
- How many times I wanted to and managed to remake the problem into a task
It is often interesting to collect statistics for the day, to see what percentage. It is even more pleasant to watch how the percentage changes day by day and there are more and more good formulations.
Here’s what the entries for the first stage might look like.
1 day
Problems — 12 Tasks — 5 Remade — 3
2 day
Problems — 9 Tasks — 8 Remade — 4
3 day
Problems — 5 Tasks — 11 Remade — 8
It is convenient to conduct the first stage within three to four days, therefore, move on to the second.
II stage
In the second stage, you already get into the habit of noticing problem statements and often turn them into tasks. Now it’s important to learn:
- Turn all problems into tasks
- Formulate positive goals
To do this, here are two main tasks that can be successfully performed:
- Whenever you notice a problem statement in yourself, replace it with a positive problem statement.
- Whenever a person next to you comes to you with a problem or talks about a problem, use leading questions to help him formulate a positive task (by the way, you can tell him this exercise, let him also train)
It is most convenient to formulate the first time in three steps:
- Problem
- Negative task
- positive task
When you notice that you no longer need these three steps, consider that you have completed the exercise.