My egg donation to help a sterile woman
Chance, others would say “fate”, once made known to me the possibility of helping a barren woman to have a child. One day, when I myself was five months pregnant with my first child, I was waiting in my gynecologist’s waiting room for a pregnancy follow-up appointment. To pass the time, I picked up a brochure that was lying around. It was a document from the Biomedicine Agency, which explained what egg donation is. I didn’t know it was possible… I read it from start to finish. It shocked me. Immediately I said to myself, “Why not me? “. I was having a dream pregnancy and I found it too unfair that some women, due to a whim of nature, could never experience this happiness.
This was completely obvious, and not the result of mature reflection. It must be said that I was brought up in a context where giving to those who had less was very natural. Generosity and solidarity were the hallmarks of my family. We gave clothes, food, toys… But I was well aware that giving a part of oneself did not have the same symbolic value: it was a gift that could change a woman’s life. For me, it was the most beautiful thing I could give someone.
I quickly talked to my husband about it. He immediately agreed. Six months after the birth of our baby, I had my first appointment to begin the donation process. We had to act quickly, because the age limit for an egg donation is 37 years old, and I was 36 and a half… I followed the protocol to the letter. Appointment with a first specialist, who detailed the procedure for me: blood test, consultation with a psychiatrist, who pushed me to talk about myself and my motivations. Then I was told that I would receive hormonal treatment for four weeks, namely one injection per day. It didn’t scare me: I’m absolutely not afraid of injections. The two nurses who alternately came to my house were very warm, and we almost became friends! I just had a little shock when I received the package that contained the doses to be injected. There was plenty of it, and I thought to myself that it still made a lot of hormones that my body would have to handle! But that didn’t make me back down. During this month of treatment, I had several blood tests to check my hormones, and in the end, I was even given two injections per day. So far, I haven’t experienced any side effects, but with two bites a day, my stomach swelled and hardened. I also felt a little “weird” and above all, I was very tired.
Towards the end of the treatment, I was given an ultrasound to see where the ovarian maturation was. The doctors then decided that the time had come for me to do the oocyte puncture. It’s a date I’ll never forget: it happened on January 20.
On the said day, I went to the ward. I must say I was very moved. Especially since I saw young women in the hallway who seemed to be waiting for something: in fact, they were waiting to receive oocytes …
I was put in, given a relaxer, and then given a local anesthetic in the vagina. I want to say that it is not at all painful. I was asked to bring music that I like to be more comfortable. And the doctor started his work: I could see all his gestures on a screen placed in front of me. I went through the whole “operation”, I saw the doctor suck my ovaries and all of a sudden, seeing the outcome of my process, I started to cry. I was not sad at all, but so moved. I think I really realized that something was being taken from my body that could give life. Suddenly, I was overcome by a flood of emotions! It lasted about half an hour. At the end, the doctor told me that I had been removed ten follicles, which he said was a very good result.
The doctor thanked me, jokingly told me that I had worked well and kindly made me understand that my role ended there, since you never tell a woman who has donated her eggs if so or not, it resulted in a birth. I knew it, so I wasn’t disappointed. I said to myself: there you have it, there will perhaps be a little of me that will have served another woman, another couple, and it’s magnificent! What makes us a mother is much more than this gift of a few cells: it’s the love we have for our child, the hugs, the nights spent by his side when he is sick. . It is this magnificent bond of love, which has nothing to do with simple oocytes. If I could contribute to this, it makes me happy.
Strangely, I, who am very focused on others, am unable to donate blood. I have no explanation for this blockage. However, I signed up to be a bone marrow donor. Today, I regularly think about the donation I made and I tell myself that maybe a child has been born, but I absolutely do not think about it as if it was a child of mine. It’s more of curiosity, and maybe a little regret not knowing. The mystery will always remain. If I could, I would have started again, despite the stings and the constraints. But I am now over 37, and for the doctors, I am too old. I would also have liked very much to be a surrogate mother, but it is forbidden in France. Always with the aim of helping a woman to have a child.
Here, I will always remain curious to know if I really helped to create a life, but I do not have the desire to know this child, if a child there is. It would become much too complicated afterwards. Two or three times a year, I have a very pleasant dream where I cuddle a little girl… I tell myself that maybe it is a sign. But it does not go any further. I am very happy to have made this donation, and I encourage my friends to do so, even if it is not a trivial step, nor frankly simple. It can help so many women to know the great happiness of being a mother …