Contents
Hello dear readers! Each of us is given a certain period of time, which makes up our life. But, unfortunately, many simply do not understand that you need to value the process itself, your path, and not just strive for some destination.
And today we will talk about how to learn to live life to the fullest, noticing every moment of it. Not devaluing, not ignoring, but enjoying it.
General information
On the one hand, everything seems to be very simple — live, do what you like, meet people who make you happy and be happy. But, unfortunately, in reality it is not so simple.
Have you ever thought that nothing special is happening to you and you feel unhappy? I would like to hope not, but if it is, I hasten to please you — this can be changed.
It is only important to learn to notice life in order to live it. As they say, be here and now, in the present.
The reason for such thoughts is often an internal prohibition on unpleasant feelings. For example, in our society it is still forbidden to be angry, upset. Girls are taught from childhood that it is ugly to show their irritation. Boys are not allowed to be sad, because if they cry, they will become like girls.
What happens when a friend or loved one says they are sad? That’s right, they immediately try to cheer him up or say that there is nothing to worry about, enough to become limp, you need to pull yourself together.
So growing up, we then do not allow ourselves to experience negative feelings. And they are part of our everyday life. Feeling alive is sometimes too painful, unbearable. Understand that some needs are not satisfied — also.
Then many simply try to escape from reality, for example, by going into addiction. And if you ignore some part of yourself, “freeze” emotions, then how can you rejoice and live, breathing in deeply?
Methods
Notice your needs
We are constantly changing, our mood, desires, thoughts are changing … Yes, it is not easy to constantly try to be aware of what is happening to me at the moment. But if you become a little more attentive to your needs, you will have a chance to find a more constructive way to satisfy them.
For example, you can feel dissatisfaction, irritation and swear with loved ones, stating that they do not care about you, do not do something. And this only worsens the relationship, not getting what you want.
Because basically, when complaints arise, the interlocutor takes a defensive position. Or they just don’t understand what exactly you are trying to achieve.
Or you might think what exactly you are missing, understand that you are very tired and ask for a massage, cook dinner instead of you, or just give you the opportunity to relax alone with yourself. Which one do you think is more likely to be heard?
pause
Anyone who is constantly preoccupied with the question of how to keep up with everything, at one moment is surprised at how quickly time has flown by. In the race for happiness, happiness was not noticed.
Worries, work and other duties sometimes pile up in such a heap that it is impossible to see the person himself because of them. Take breaks, look around.
If you run or drive fast, you can get to your destination ahead of time, I agree, but the landscapes that accompanied the whole journey cannot be seen and remembered.
Adapt
Everything in the world is changing very rapidly. Some professions disappear, new ones appear. One power replaces another. Even the climate «does not stand still.» It is important to be able to adapt to new conditions so as not to fall out of the general process.
Usually it is possible to realize itself to those who were able to adapt, show their flexibility and occupy a new niche. A person who clings to the old, trying to act in the usual ways that no longer give the desired result, suffers, experiences disappointment, depression, and so on.
So learn new languages, go to courses and trainings, reveal your talents and abilities. Only by starting to do something unusual, you will get a completely different life. And if you follow your interests, then she will surely be happy.
Overcome your fears
Fear of change, failure and any other fear prevent you from breathing deeply and getting what you want from life. On the one hand, they perform a protective function, because the new is unsafe, which means there is a risk of injury, disappointment, and so on. On the other hand, they do not allow dreams to come true and change their everyday lives.
It is important to be aware of it, this fear, but at the same time continue to move forward, try to change something. It is impossible to become successful without experiencing a single failure. How to become completely different without changing.
Don’t delay
People who spent most of their lives in the USSR learned to leave the best for later. Did you notice how parents, grandmothers, great-grandfathers and other relatives, acquaintances took out a beautiful service only when guests arrived? And the rest of the time they drank tea from cups with cracks.
Or put off new linen, clothes and other things for some time. Well, the case will come and all this will come in handy for them, but for now you have to be patient.
It is sad, terrible that such a moment may not come. Life is not somewhere in a wonderful future, it is right here and now.
Your needs must also be met as they come, and not at more appropriate times.
Love yourself
A person appreciates life only if he values himself. Happiness cannot be found by ignoring one’s own personality. If you are bored alone with yourself, it is pointless to look for love and recognition on the side. No one can fill it up, replace it.
Very often, quite unconsciously, a person even tries to kill himself. I’m not talking about suicide as such, but about all sorts of addictions. For example, what kind of love for yourself and life can we talk about when you introduce some kind of chemistry into the body that will surely harm it?
Build value
Values and beliefs help you cope with difficult situations, set goals, and also give energy to achieve. This is the foundation, something that a person can rely on if necessary. They can be spiritual, moral, family, religious and so on. The main thing is to be.
And if you live in accordance with your values, principles, you will find happiness.
Take care of your health
Good health is not the main, but quite important component of a full life. Your body works around the clock and it will be great if you not only do not interfere with it to do its job, but also help.
For example, playing sports to keep fit and eating right. Resting well and drinking enough water.
All this will allow you to become not only healthier. After all, for example, after physical exertion, the hormone of happiness is produced. If you sleep the required number of hours, you will have more resources to overcome the negative effects of stress. And this means that you will stop worrying about trifles and will not be so irritable and exhausted.
In general, for recommendations on how to start a healthy lifestyle — here.
Be active
In addition to the ability to stop, you also need to be active. Develop, act and move forward. Filling everyday life with something new and interesting, your life will become much more diverse than if you just lie on the couch and watch TV in your free time.
Travel, walk, at least in your own city or village, go to some circles and trainings. Learn foreign languages and read books. Watch movies, visit exhibitions, theaters, go to visit, after all. But don’t let apathy or laziness take control of you.
Living a varied range of emotions every day, you will understand how interesting, beautiful and rich your life is.
Be thankful
Universe, parents, friends, passers-by, yourself… Because if you take life as a whole as a given, it is difficult to enjoy, satisfy.
What happens to you is the result of your interaction with the world. And if you devalue even the slightest contribution to your life, it will be impossible to feel saturation and fullness.
Appreciate every moment, every minute, then there will be no time for boredom and disappointment.
Happiness is in the little things. There are people who are able to enjoy only significant gifts in the form of a car, jewelry. And there are those who experience the pleasure of seeing the sunset, just by opening their eyes in the morning and meeting a new day.
Because they know that someday there will be no such opportunity and you need to notice such seemingly familiar and insignificant moments right now.
Just do not think about how to start and when to start giving thanks. Get started right now. Remember, for today, what happened to you, to which you did not particularly pay attention, but what could you rejoice under other conditions?
For example, when a girl cooks breakfast for the first time, it is considered a sign of care and causes tenderness. And when she does this every day, for 10 years already as a spouse, her efforts are no longer appreciated.
They are simply invisible and are perceived as a duty for which you should not say thank you. Although, in fact, she gets up earlier and also tries to take care of you, as in the first morning together.
Learn to refuse
This is actually an important skill. Especially for those who can be easily manipulated by pressing on pity.
Think you want to be comfortable, or happy? Do not constantly sacrifice your interests for the sake of others.
I am not asking you to stop helping others. I ask you to be sensitive to your own personality. In order not to step on your throat for good purposes. So you can waste the resources and capabilities of the body, and then «fall out» into depression. And an unhappy person is not able to give joy. Not to others, not to yourself.
For detailed instructions on how to learn to politely refuse while maintaining a relationship, you will find by clicking on this link.
Build an inner circle of people you love
The people who take part in your life should inspire you, stimulate you to develop and delight. Try to surround yourself with people who respect and love you. Because there are those who, on the contrary, seek to harm, who constantly complain, and after communicating with whom they don’t want anything, they give up.
You should not waste time on meaningless and unnecessary conversations and companies in which you have to live in despair, shame, loneliness. And constantly.
Think about why you need them. Do you tolerate someone’s criticism out of courtesy, or because it motivates you to take action? Do you listen to endless complaints to the whole world, because you share them and you are interested, or because your conscience torments you, because we must help each other?
Completion
As already mentioned, life is a lot of work, for which you can’t get salaries, diplomas and awards. But you can find much more — satisfaction, happiness, harmony …
So don’t give up and make your dreams come true!
And finally, we recommend reading an article about a person’s attitudes in life.
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina