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I hate skiing because I don’t like sport
To ski well, you need good physical condition. But when you hardly do any sport during the year, it’s difficult to be at the top level. Suddenly, we have aches, twisted ankles, sprained knees, falls and poorly negotiated turns that make you take your shoes off. And we are not talking about the material. Three kilos of boots on each foot and skis that slit your shoulder, it’s heavy to carry. Especially since the bottom of the lifts is always super far from where we parked the car and starting the day with a snow marathon, it kills!
I hate skiing because I freeze on the slopes
In the mountains, in winter, it is cold. This is normal and we are even there for that. But at the top of the slopes, it’s even colder! First, you have to queue for a long time to take the chairlift, eggs or ski lift. And when we wait, we cool down. Then there is the icy wind that stings your face, the fingers that go numb in the gloves, the feet that freeze in the shoes during the lifts. And then, arriving at the top of the summits, gusts of wind which lift snow and sometimes even fog … And as long as the slopes are in the shade, you are sure and certain to be refrigerated after two hours ski. The trouble is that the others, who miraculously don’t feel the bites of the cold or who don’t care, have decided to close the slopes! To warm up with a good hot chocolate, you will have to wait until the end of the day.
I hate skiing because I only love the sea!
We can say that the peaks covered with snow under the sun are magical, that the pure mountain air is good for your health, that the warm atmosphere is great for recharging your batteries … Some people only love the sea. Especially the warm seas like the turquoise waters of the Seychelles … Suddenly, they get altitude sickness, the snow blues, the blues of the ski lifts and they spend a week on the terrace of the bar of altitude sipping coffees and sunbathing bitterly regretting not having taken advantage of the promotional stays in Reunion!
I hate skiing because I never learned
Go skiing with friends, what could be more fun? Except that they all have a great level and you are the only one who passed your first star at 10 years old and never returned to a resort since. On the first day, everyone goes skiing in a joyful and good mood. Blue slopes, red slopes, black slopes, they hurtle down all slopes with ease. It’s very simple, it looks like they were born with skis on their feet. At the beginning, we encourage the beginner! But after a few descents, it starts to deteriorate. For “experienced levels”, it’s annoying to wait centuries for you to finally make a turn! And for you, it’s humiliating to be the service ball that slows the group down. At the end of the day, it’s funny soup for everyone. In order not to interfere with the group, you secede. The advantage is that you can take lessons with a tanned and sexy instructor!
I hate skiing because I’m afraid of breaking something
Have you ever seen a stretcher pulled by two trackers come down the slopes and be taken away by an ambulance? Or a skier hurtling down a mogul field without being able to stop? Or a skier being mowed down by a reckless snowboarder? Sure, it always cools a bit. But for some people, it’s downright a permanent stressor. As soon as they get on skis, they can’t help but think that they are going to fall and break a leg! They are looking for zero risk, the softest slope, minimum speed, in short, this apprehension takes away all the pleasure of skiing …
I hate skiing because I look like a bibendum
Jumpsuit, jacket or overalls, chunky shoes, for sure, you have to be a goddess lined with a thread to look sexy in ski clothes. If you add to that the hat and the glasses or, worse, the balaclava and the mask, you reach the top of the elegance… The nice little detail is when you take the hat off and your hair is slicked back on your poor little skull. Plus the cold red cheeks, cracked lips and the marks of the glasses that make you look like a raccoon, you understand why some prefer to go to the spa or go shopping in the resort!