It is very similar to how we learned a foreign language as a child. Here we are sitting in a lesson, reading a textbook – we need to say this and that, here we write on the blackboard, and the teacher checks whether it is true or not, but we leave the class – and English / German remained there, outside the door. Or a textbook in a briefcase, which is not clear how to apply to life – except to hit an annoying classmate.
Also with meditation. Today, it often remains something that is “handed out” behind closed doors. We went “into the classroom”, everyone sat down at their desk (or on a bench), we listen to the teacher who says “how it should be”, we try, we internally evaluate ourselves – it worked out / didn’t work out and, leaving the meditation hall, we leave the practice there, behind door. We go to a stop or the subway, get angry at the crowd at the entrance, get frightened by the ones we missed from the boss, remember what we need to buy in the store, we are nervous because of unpaid bills. For practice, the field is unplowed. But we left her THERE, with rugs and pillows, aroma sticks and a teacher in the lotus position. And here we again have to again, like Sisyphus, lift this heavy stone up a steep mountain. For some reason, it is impossible to “impose” this image, this model from the “hall” on the everyday fuss.
Meditation in action
When I went to yoga, ending with shavasana, one feeling did not leave me. Here we lie and relax, observe the sensations, and literally fifteen minutes later, in the locker room, the mind is already captured by some tasks, the search for a solution (what to make for dinner, have time to pick up the order, finish the work). And this wave takes you to the wrong place, where you aspire, doing yoga and meditation.
Why does it turn out that “flies are separate, and cutlets (chickpeas!) Separately”? There is an expression that if you cannot consciously drink a cup of tea, you will not be able to live consciously. How do I make sure that my every “cup of tea” – or, in other words, any daily routine action – takes place in a state of awareness? I decided to practice while living in everyday situations, for example, studying. The most difficult thing to practice is when the situation seems to fall out of your control and fear, stress, loss of attention appear. In this state, the most difficult thing is not to try to control the mind, but to practice observing and accepting these states.
For me, one of those situations was learning to drive. Fear of the road, fear of driving a car that is potentially dangerous, fear of making mistakes. During the training, I went through the following stages – from trying to deny my feelings, to be brave (“I’m not afraid, I’m brave, I’m not afraid”) – to, ultimately, accepting these experiences. Observation and fixation, but not denial and condemnation. “Yes, there is fear now, I wonder how long it will be? Is there still? Already got smaller. Now I’m calmer.” Only in the state of acceptance it turned out to pass all the exams. Of course, not immediately. I did not pass the first stage because of the strongest excitement, that is, attachment to the result, rejection of another scenario, fear of the Ego (the Ego is afraid of being destroyed, losing). By doing inner work, step by step, I learned to let go of the significance, the importance of the result.
She simply accepted development options in advance, did not build expectations and did not drive herself with them. Letting go of the thought of “later” (will I pass or not?), I focused on the “now” (what am I doing now?). Having shifted the focus – here I am going, how and where I am going – the fears about a possible negative scenario gradually began to disappear. So, in an absolutely relaxed, but with the most attentive state, after a while I passed the exam. It was a wonderful practice: I learned to be here and now, to be in the moment and live it consciously, with attention to what is happening, but without involving the Ego. To be honest, this approach to the practice of mindfulness (namely in action) gave me much more than all the shavasanas that I was with and in which I was.
I see such meditation as more effective than application practices (apps), collective meditations in the hall after a working day. This is one of the goals of meditation courses – to learn how to transfer this state into life. Whatever you do, whatever you do, ask yourself what I feel now (tired, irritated, pleased), what are my feelings, where am I.
I continue to practice further, but I noticed that I get the strongest effect when I practice in unusual, new situations, where I can potentially experience a feeling of fear, loss of control over the situation. So, having passed on the rights, I went to learn to swim.
It seemed that everything started all over again and all my “enhanced Zen” in relation to various emotions seemed to evaporate. Everything went in a circle: fear of water, depth, inability to control the body, fear of drowning. Experiences seem to be similar, as with driving, but still different. And it also brought me down to the ground – yes, here is a new life situation and here again everything is from scratch. It is impossible, like a multiplication table, once and for all to “learn” this state of acceptance, attention to the moment. Everything changes, nothing is permanent. “Kickbacks” back, as well as situations for practice, will occur again and again throughout life. Some sensations are replaced by others, they may resemble those that have already been, the main thing is to notice them.
Specialist commentary
“The skill of mindfulness (presence in life) is indeed very similar to learning a foreign language or another complex discipline. However, it is worth recognizing that a lot of people speak a foreign language with dignity, and, therefore, the skill of mindfulness can also be learned. The surest thing about mastering any skill is noticing the smallest steps you’ve already taken. This will give strength and mood to go on.
Why can’t you just take it and become a conscious person who is always in harmony? Because we are taking on a very difficult (and, in my opinion, also the most important) skill in our lives – to live our lives in presence. If it were that easy, everyone would already live differently. But why is it difficult to be aware? Because this involves serious work on oneself, for which only a few are ready. We live according to a memorized script that has been brought up by society, culture, family – you don’t have to think about anything, you just have to go with the flow. And then suddenly awareness comes, and we begin to think why we act one way or another, what is really behind our action? The skill of presence often radically changes people’s lives (circle of communication, lifestyle, nutrition, pastime), and not everyone will ever be ready for these changes.
Those who have the courage to go further begin to notice small changes and practice being present a little every day, in the most ordinary stressful situations (at work, when passing a driving test, in tense relationships with the environment).”