This is THE question we ask ourselves when we start a romantic relationship. It’s hard to answer categorically, but there are signs that can help you tell if your story is on the line. Sophie Touttée Henrotte, couples therapist, gives you some ideas.

“You are the love of my life”, “You are the good one”… It’s all well and good to say it, but in reality we don’t know if these sentences are true when we say them. “We can only say that on our deathbed! On the other hand, everyone can know if the person he / she is seeing corresponds to him / her at this precise moment of his life, in this period of his life ”, tempers Sophie Touttée Henrotte. Throughout our life, we may experience one or more loves.

What really interests us when we ask ourselves whether this is the right one is whether the relationship will last. You still have to know yourself. “Detecting the signs that prove it’s right is possible when you know who you are, what you want and what you don’t want in a romantic relationship. To do this, you have to show yourself to the other in your true light, that is to say with your faults ”, insists the couple therapist. 

You can never be 100% sure it’s the right one. On the other hand, certain behaviors can put you on the track. Know how to recognize them:

He / she loves you as you are

It is not always easy in a budding relationship to show yourself as you are because you want to please the other at all costs, even if it means forgetting yourself. But as the saying goes, chase the natural, it comes back at a gallop. So be as natural as possible in your relationship. “Be assertive, don’t hide your flaws. If the other loves you the way you are, and doesn’t judge you at the slightest misstep, it’s a good start… ”, says the specialist.

He / she projects with you

Projecting yourself with the other shows that you are ready to invest and make the relationship last. If your partner is up to planning a vacation for two, agrees to accompany you to your best friend’s birthday planned two weeks later, or invites you to accompany her to her idol’s concert next year, this is a good sign!

He / she highlights you

It is good to feel valued by the other in a romantic relationship. This involves compliments in private but also in public (in front of his / her friends, your / her family…). Highlighting your spouse is also being proud to have him or her on your arm in front of others, to assume the relationship.

He / she is present in difficult times

Everything is not always all beautiful, all rosy. If in the event of a hard blow, your partner responds to support and comfort you, it is because in addition to having found a lover, you have found a friend on who to count.

He / she holds on to this relationship

If like you, your loved one, seeks to protect and preserve this relationship, chances are your story will last. But concretely, what does that mean? That he / she does not take the loose powder at the first argument or question your relationship at the slightest disagreement. 

You are on the same page

If over the days and weeks you find that your other half isn’t looking at this relationship the way you do, it’s best not to continue. Waiting for the other to get more involved when they don’t have the attention, it’s exhausting and it’s a waste of time! On the other hand, if the two of you are looking for a serious, stable and exclusive relationship, and you’ve made it clear to yourself, the relationship starts off on a healthy basis and can last. “In a couple, if the basic values ​​are not shared, it is complicated to move forward”, warns the couple therapist.

Communication is fluid

Communication is a key element in a romantic relationship. “Being able to express your needs without fear and knowing how to listen to others is essential for the relationship to last”, insists Sophie Touttée Henrotte. Being in a relationship with a person who values ​​constructive dialogue is precious.

I trust him / her and he / she trusts me

The security of the couple is important. It essentially depends on trust, a criterion for the durability of a couple. “To say that the other is the person on whom one can count for a long time in his life is very important”, concludes Sophie Toutée Henrotte.