Psychological violence is a real undertaking to demolish the identity of the victim.

• They create a climate of physical and emotional insecurity through the onset of conflicts through and through, repeated intimidation, frequent threats, blackmail, insidious innuendos, anger.
• They create a climate of control and isolation through tight surveillance (clothing, expenses, going out, dating, messaging, schedule), or even unlimited sequestration.
• They create a climate of inferiority and devaluation through criticism, psychological wounds, attitudes of contempt.
• They create a climate of doubt and confusion through constantly contradictory words, unspoken words, lies, manipulations, staging, innuendo.
• They are always intentional and are always covered by “good reasons” like love, child rearing, savings, compelling necessity.
• They are always presented as being the consequence of the behavior of the victim who supposedly made a mistake: “you pissed me off”, “you do everything to make me angry”, “you do it on purpose to frustrate me” …
• They are often present from the first meetings but they are coated in a climate of attraction and their location does not generally allow to give the alert at that moment: “he is a little stressed”, “I can succeed in it. change ”,“ he doesn’t realize ”…

Psychological violence leads, through the stress, violence and wear and tear that characterize it, to severe psychotrauma.

The victim usually feels guilty, inferior, incompetent, which prevents them from thinking that the abuser has no right to act like this. She also experiences great psychological suffering resulting in various symptoms: hypervigilance, insomnia, pain, chronic fatigue, depersonalization, confusion, anxiety, concentration disorders, decreased performance, depressive disorders, eating disorders, subject to excess. miscellaneous (tobacco, alcohol) …

The victim is particularly exposed to various disorders such as post-traumatic stress (between 25 and 60% of cases), depression, le suicide risk, anxiety, personality disorders, addictions, sexual violence, behavioral disorders, accidents, cardiovascular disorders, etc.

Ultimately, repeated violence creates a state of dissociation and emotional anesthesia in the victim, which leads to many paradoxical behaviors (trivialization, dependence on the aggressor, confusion, amnesia). This phenomenon is confusing for those around the victim and the medical team because the victim has the greatest difficulty in separating from his attacker: we clearly speak of dependence to escape traumatic memory.

Children who witness the scenes or who are themselves victims are likely in the future to reproduce violence suffered in childhood. : It is estimated that 40 to 60% of men who are violent with their partners have witnessed domestic violence in childhood.

All these symptoms maintain a vicious circle at the center of which we find the aggressor. The victim is more and more vulnerable, manipulable and likely to reverse the guilt of the situation. 

According to Violaine Gueritault, individuals likely to be violent towards their partner have specific characteristics. The subject here is a man but it is quite possible that he is a woman.

• He speaks in a disrespectful way of his former wives.
• He disrespects you.
• He gives you services you don’t want or shows generosity that makes you feel uncomfortable.
• He wants to control everything.
• He is possessive.
• Nothing is ever his fault.
• He is egocentric.
• He uses drugs or alcohol.
• It puts a lot of pressure on you when it comes to sex.
• He wants to get involved in the relationship too quickly.
• He tries to intimidate you when he’s angry.
• He does not apply to himself what he expects from others.
• His attitude towards women is negative.
• He treats you differently around other people.
• He is attracted by the vulnerability of his partner (partners much younger than him, people who have had particularly difficult experiences, etc.)