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Reconnect with your friends and open up to others
“Hey, I would call Sandrine, it’s been an eternity that we haven’t spoken to each other” this little sentence you say to yourself every day. Then time passes, everyday life devours you minute after minute and the phone calls that would do you so much good for your morale go by the wayside. You are certainly super busy, but you necessarily have time to call! From today, everything will change. First, you make a list of all the people you love and who you want to hear from. Second, you sit on the couch and call a friend a day until you catch up with all your backlog: “How are you? It’s been too long… ”Take the opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate them, your sincere compliments will strengthen your bond. Above all, evacuate the thoughts of the kind it’s always me who calls! So where is the problem? The important thing is to be surrounded by people and to communicate with the people you love. Open up to others too. Challenge yourself like talking to three people you don’t know and find nice. It can be on the bus, in the supermarket, in the dentist’s waiting room… Rest assured, it’s very easy. If you find that what this young woman is trying suits her well, tell her, she will be happy to have an outside opinion. The weather forecast, a trendy TV host, the dog wriggling on the end of a leash, there are hundreds of easy and uninvolved conversation topics that allow you to communicate. Talking with others is pleasant and it also gives a feeling of ease and self-confidence. If you fail, don’t be discouragedis that you will have come across a “bad coucher”.
Become your own coach
“I will never make it ! I suck! It’s not worth trying, it’s screwed up in advance! ” All the negative messages we send to ourselves all the time fuel our lack of self-esteem and end up causing us to lose our self-confidence completely. The more we program in negative mode, the more our efforts are doomed to failure. The solution is to change your internal dialogue. As soon as a negative thought arises, you drive it away vigorously and replace it with a message of encouragement ”This is FALSE! The proof is that I have already succeeded in this, this and that ”. Instead of pushing in, talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, instead of criticizing yourself, become your best friend yourself! You know the “Because I’m worth it!” Ad, and that’s the kind of positive message you’re going to stick on your refrigerator door, on your desk, inside your cupboards and drawers. The goal is that wherever you lay your eyes you will find words of encouragement.. Also take a photo of yourself that you like, one where you find yourself “pretty good”, frame it and put it in the living room and / or your bedroom. You can put more than one … But be careful, it’s not about you with your man, the kids or the whole family last Christmas, it’s a photo of you, all by yourself. If you don’t have one, have your portrait taken by a photographer.
And to reinforce your good image, ask three friends what they like about you. Take notes, you will be amazed because others see qualities in us that we do not even suspect or that we have overlooked.
Assert yourself to better accept yourself
Of course we all dream of doing only what we want, but life is there, with its principle of reality and its attendant daily constraints. This does not mean that you have to say yes to everything, without flinching. This does not require you to let yourself be locked in a straitjacket of obligations without ever listening to your desires, your needs again. To truly be you and regain some of your freedom, every day say NO when you force yourself to do something you don’t like just to please others. Once a day is not a lot and yet it will reconcile you with yourself. Challenge yourself too. You would love to sit on the terrace for a little coffee, but you dare not because you are alone. Ditto for speaking during a meeting, asking for a favor from a loved one, contradicting the advice of a saleswoman… You are not the only one in this case, our desires are constantly limited because we are afraid. And as long as we allow ourselves to be dominated by our fears, as long as we avoid the situations that give us trouble, we are not performing to the best of our ability. Too bad, no? So make a list of everything you’d like to do without daring and set yourself up for little challenges. Set reasonable goals, take it step by step.
Taste the small pleasures of everyday life
Smile 10 times a day, that’s an easy and 1% effective technique to maintain good morale. Every time you smile, you send your brain the following message: I’m fine, life is good. As a result, you feel more relaxed. And for a double Kiss Cool effect, the people concerned send your smile back to you, which reinforces your good self-image. Suddenly you are even more relaxed and operational to resolve any difficulties. Another way to relax: think of pleasant memories, happy moments that you lived with those you love. These little “happiness breaks” make it easier for you to hang on and overcome everyday worries. Also live the present moment, a good anti-depression solution. Savor every little pleasure from day to day, a hug from your sweetheart, the blue sky, a friendly email from a friend, a walk with your child, a good lunch, be on the lookout for anything that makes you happy. And give yourself a little personal gift every day, not necessarily expensive, not necessarily material, something that you really like. For example, taking a nap, walking on the dead leaves that screech in autumn, warming yourself in front of the fireplace, drinking fine tea, reading a good novel, inviting friends over for dinner. It’s up to you to find and make yourself happy!