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Kindness is all the rage these days – it’s talked about in textbooks, communities, and on the web. Experts say: good deeds improve mood and well-being and help to achieve career success. And that’s why.
Canadian psychotherapist Thomas D’Ansembourg argues that kindness to others does not mean neglecting oneself. Vice versa: caring for others is a way to make yourself better. “It is kindness that moves the world forward and makes our life worth living,” agrees the philosopher and psychotherapist Piero Ferrucci.
Mutual aid and solidarity are at the core of our identity, and it was they who allowed mankind to survive. We are all social beings, genetically endowed with the ability to empathize. “That’s why,” adds Ferrucci, “if one baby cries in the manger, all the others will cry along the chain: they acutely feel an emotional connection with each other.”
A few more facts. Kindness…
… Contagious
«It’s like a second skin, a way of life that is born out of respect for oneself and for others”, says researcher Paola Dessanti.
It is enough to conduct a simple experiment: smile at the one in front of you, and you will see how his face instantly brightens up. “When we are kind,” adds Dessanti, “our interlocutors tend to be the same towards us.”
…good for workflow
Many people think that in order to succeed in life, you need to become aggressive, learn to suppress other people. This is not true.
“In the long run, kindness and openness have a strong positive effect on careers,” says Dessanti. – When they turn into our philosophy of life, we become more enthusiastic, we become more productive. This is a significant advantage, especially in large companies.”
Even business school students demonstrate that collaboration is better than competition.
…increases the quality of life
To support a colleague in a difficult situation, to help an elderly woman up the stairs, to treat a neighbor with cookies, to give a voter a free lift — these little things make us better.
Stanford psychologist Sonya Lubomirsky has tried to measure the good that we get from kindness. She asked the subjects to perform small acts of kindness for five days in a row. It turned out that no matter what the good deed was, it markedly changed the quality of life of the one who did it (and not only at the time of the act, but also later).
… improves health and mood
“I connect with people out of curiosity and immediately find myself on the same wavelength with the interlocutor,” says 43-year-old Danielle. As a rule, to win over others, it is enough to be open and smile.
Kindness helps us save a lot of energy. Remember what happens when we drive a car and swear (even mentally) with other drivers: our shoulders are tense, we frown, we shrink into a ball internally … If such stress is repeated, it risks affecting not only our mood, but also our health.
Swedish doctor Stefan Einhorn emphasizes that open people suffer less from anxiety and depression, develop better immunity abilities and even live longer.
Be kind…to yourself
Why do some perceive kindness as weakness? “My problem is that I am too kind. I sacrifice myself for nothing in return. For example, I recently paid my friends to help me move,” shares 55-year-old Nicoletta.
“When someone feels bad about themselves, they provoke others to do the same,” Dessanti continues. — There is no point in talking about kindness if we are not kind to ourselves in the first place. That’s where you need to start.»