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Out of 10 letters asking for a consultation, 9 contain a request in a negative form: “how to get rid of, how to stop, how to stop, how to ignore …” Negative goal setting is a typical disease of our clients. And our task, the task of consultants, is to accustom clients, instead of talking about what they don’t like, what they want to get away from, to formulate what they want, what they want to come to, to accustom them to competent goal setting.
It should also be taken into account that the negative requests of clients easily lead them to introspection, to the search for reasons instead of searching for solutions, to an unproductive search for problems within themselves.
Examples of negative wording:
I want to understand why my income is not growing
Client: I want to figure out why my income is not growing.
Consultant: Do you want to figure out why your income is not growing, or do you want to start doing something so that your income grows?
Client: Yes, that’s right. I don’t want to figure it out, I want my income to grow.
Consultant: Okay, but what, what do you think should be done for this?
Client: It seems to me that I am standing still, not developing. I need to figure out what to do so as not to stand still.
How not to pay attention to their gu.e.sti?
My daughter is 13 years old and she has had difficulty communicating since the first grade, she is simply ignored, she is like an outcast. It seems that he doesn’t do anything bad, but he’s already afraid to say something to someone, just so they don’t insult him again. I talked to the girls in the class, but they can’t say anything definite. She’s always in a bad mood, and so am I because of her. I need advice on how to explain to her so that she learns not to notice them, not to get upset, not to pay attention to their gu.e.sti.
How to stop being a parasite?
Source forum.syntone.ru
Dear Nikolai Ivanovich, how to STOP BEING A PARASITE, I’m already sick of it in general ((((I work, I splurge mostly, IMHO, but I like to do only what I like, and not what is really necessary for work, and that amazing (but, apparently, not for a parasite), when something is no longer necessary to do, I again wildly want to do it, where are the roots of such a strange self-will, how to isolate and destroy them, or do we need to change the entire “system” and deal specifically with this there is no point?
Another question, can you tell me how to get rid of the stupid fear “I’ll go in for sports (so far I seem to be thin and healthy, but I don’t care), I suddenly get sick, and all efforts are wasted, nothing will work out anyway, so it’s better not to start, but to spend time for something more significant and immediately paid off, like books”? Really, this fear exists, this is consumerism, right? how do they fight?
How to get rid of self-digging?
From the age of 13, the feeling of introspection does not leave, what is written in your article clearly describes my condition, everything repeats itself as if in a circle. How to get rid of it? How to stop comparing yourself with other people, stop being jealous and introspective? What is the reason? Where do you get these thoughts from???