Endless chatter
Your child has always loved to talk, even a little one. But since he was four, this trait has asserted itself and he always has something to say or ask. On the way home, he reviews his school day, talks about the cars, the neighbor’s dog, his girlfriends’ shoes, his bike, the cat on the wall, groaning at his defeating sister. his puzzle… At home and at school, your chip never stops! To the point that, tired by so much chatter, you end up not listening to him, and his sister, she can hardly express herself. According to the doctor of psychology, Stephan Valentin *: “This child certainly needs to share what is happening to him during the day, and it is important to listen to him. But it is just as important to point out to him that he should not monopolize the attention of his parents. It is about teaching your child the rules of communication and social life: respecting everyone’s speaking time. “
Understand your need
To understand the reasons for this, you have to be attentive to what the child is saying and how he does it. A chatter can, in fact, mask a worry. “When he speaks, is he nervous? Uncomfortable ? What tone does he use? What emotions accompany his speeches? These indicators are important to see if it is simply a strong desire to express oneself, a zest for life, or a latent concern, ”comments the psychologist. And if we perceive a concern through his words, we try to understand what anguishes him and we reassure him.
A desire for attention?
Chattering can also be due to a desire for attention. “Behavior that disturbs others can become a strategy for drawing attention to yourself. Even when the child is scolded, he has managed to interest the adult in him, ”underlines Stephan Valentin. We then try to give him more time one-on-one. Whatever the reason for the chatter, it can harm the child. He is less concentrated in class, his classmates risk putting him aside, the teacher punishing him … Hence the need to help him channel his speeches by setting reassuring limits. He will then know when he is allowed to speak and how to participate in a conversation.
Channeling his flow of words
It is up to us to teach him to express himself without interrupting others, to listen. For that, we can offer him board games that encourage him to take everyone into account, and wait his turn. A sports activity or improvisation theater will also help him to exert himself and to express himself. Be careful not to stimulate it too much. “Boredom can be positive because the child will find himself calm in front of himself. He will be less excited, which can have an influence on this incessant desire to speak, ”suggests the psychologist.
Finally, we establish a special moment where the child can talk to us and where we will be available to listen to him. The discussion will then be devoid of any tension.
Auteur: Dorothée Blancheton
* Stephan Valentin is the author many works, including “We will always be there for you”, Pfefferkorn ed.
A book to help him …
“I’m too talkative”, coll. Lulu, ed. Bayard Youth.
Lulu always has something to say, so much so that she doesn’t listen to others! But one day, she realizes that nobody listens to her anymore… here is a “grown-up” novel (from 6 years old) to read together in the evening!