My child bites, what should I do?

Hit, bite and tap to express yourself

Very young, the child cannot express emotions (such as pain, fear, anger, or frustration) with words. He therefore tends to express himself differently, using gestures or means more “accessible” for him : hitting, biting, pushing, pinching… The bite can represent a way of opposing authority or others. He uses this method to express his anger, his displeasure or just to confront you. Biting therefore becomes for him a way of communicating his frustration..

My child bites: how to react?

Despite everything, we must not tolerate this behavior, nor let it happen or trivialize it. You have to intervene, but not just any old way! Avoid intervening by biting him in turn, to “show him what it feels like”. This is not the right solution. Responding to aggressive behavior by another is hardly a good example to set and moves us away from the positive role model we should be for our children. Either way, your little one wouldn’t understand your gesture. By biting, we place ourselves at our level of communication, we lose our authority and this makes the child insecure. A firm NO is often the best method of intervention for children this age. This no will allow him to understand that his gesture is unacceptable. Then create a diversion. Above all, do not put the emphasis on the gesture (or the reasons that motivated him to bite). He is far too small to be able to understand what prompts him to do so. By redirecting his attention elsewhere, you should see this behavior go away pretty quickly.

Advice from Suzanne Vallières, psychiatrist

  • Understand that for most children, biting can be a way of expressing emotions
  • Never tolerate this gesture (always intervene)
  • Never bite it as an intervention

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