Why do homosexual men enter into love relationships with women and are even ready to marry them? And how to understand that your partner prefers the company of other men to yours? Journalist Nicole Carrington-Sima spoke about her affair with a gay man.
My handsome man used to visit the gym every day and set up a separate shelf in our shared bathroom for his own cosmetics. With him, you could spend hours shopping, talking about fashion and reviewing your favorite Sex and the City series together. And after that, go to sex is no longer on the screen.
My friends were suspicious of my new companion. And familiar gays happily whispered in his ear: «he is ours.» They all think stereotypes, and even envy, I thought. I just met a modern metrosexual — a man of a new type, in which male and female traits and habits are harmoniously combined. These days, the lines between the sexes are blurring, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Some gay men deliberately enter into traditional marriage because they dream of a family and children
But somewhere in the depths of my soul I got a worm. The only thing that calmed me was the fact of magical sex: after all, gays don’t make love to women, do they? But once, when my prince presented me with a complete wax depilation of his own body as a gift, I could not restrain myself and put the question squarely.
To my horror, the embarrassed boyfriend immediately made an unplanned (or long-planned) coming out. In the end, we laughed and decided to part as friends. But the same questions swirled around in my head for a while. What about unforgettable nights together? What about our close emotional intimacy?..
According to Australian sexologist Michelle Mars, sexual relations between a heterosexual woman and a homosexual or bisexual man are a very common phenomenon. “I am 100% sure that among your acquaintances there are homosexuals and bisexuals … And you do not know about it. People who enjoy sex and have rich sex lives are more open to experimentation,” says Michelle Mars. As the boundaries of the categories of sexual identity are blurred, people are discovering a wide variety of sexual relationships.
In sexology, there is a special term «pansexuality», which refers to a romantic or erotic attraction to people, regardless of their gender.
63% of homosexual men who marry a woman never admit their true preferences
“Sometimes homosexuals meet women because they don’t fully understand the nature of their sexuality and suffer from internal homophobia. Some deliberately enter into a traditional marriage because they dream of a family and children and are forced to live a double life due to the ostracism that is still experienced in society, ”explains the sexologist.
For women, such a relationship based on lies is fraught with serious depression, especially if the epiphany does not come in the first months of the relationship, but after many years of family life.
Author of «Fatal Suitors: Gay and Bisexual Husbands in Traditional Marriage»1 American family consultant Bonnie Kaye has compiled a list of signs that help identify a homosexual partner before marriage. Among them are the refusal of regular sexual intimacy, watching gay porn, using certain sex toys, intrusive homophobic comments, and others. According to her, 63% of homosexual men who marry a woman will never admit their true sexual preferences.
Read more at shesaid.com.
1 Bonnie Kaye «Doomed Grooms: Gay and Bisexual Husbands in Straight marriages» (CCB Publishing, 2012).