My article is addressed to those who already have children in the family, or their appearance is expected. Never! Hear, never raise your children based on manipulation, do not play on their feelings! If you want your children to grow up mentally healthy, adequate, with normal self-esteem and not be offended by you for the rest of their lives, then find a healthy approach to educating and developing a personality.
Manipulation of resentment
If your child does not want to perform his duties around the house, or, having played with gadgets, is in no hurry to do his homework, you do not need to tell him that he does not love you, that you will die from overwork, but he will not notice. And certainly don’t say that with such an attitude to life he will grow out of him: “bandit, thief, maniac or murderer”. With these words, you subconsciously lay negative life program. “At best,” a loser with an inferiority complex will grow up. To prevent this from happening, try introducing a symbolic reward for each task completed on time. Let’s say a monetary reward, or a point system. Accordingly, for unfulfilled work, there is a system of punishment, to remove points, or for some time without gadgets. Personally, my opinion is that it is not advisable to deprive a child of walking and talking with friends, since walking is fresh air that is good for health, and talking with friends is the psychological development of your child and his communication skills.
Fear of parents
To make it clearer, let’s remember ourselves as small or in adolescence. Of course, we, the children who grew up in the 90s, did not have computers, but there were consoles, such as SEGA or DENDYin which we played, forgetting about everything. Or, while reading an interesting book, they forgot to wash the dishes or sweep the floor. And then you hear the front door slam and your mother comes home. What emotions does her return evoke in you? Fear? Horror? Waiting for the inevitable scandal? If your answer is: «Yes», then I congratulate you, we have a child’s psychological trauma.
In families where interpersonal relationships are built correctly, the child is not thrown into a cold sweat and fear that the parents have returned and household chores have not been fulfilled. And the saddest thing is that you, most likely, also manipulate the feelings of your children. No, you are not terrible parents, you just already have a certain stereotype of behavior in such situations. And the first step to building a healthy relationship with children is to understand that you are breaking the child’s psyche with your words and actions. As soon as you understand this and honestly admit to yourself that you have lost mutual understanding with children, learn to negotiate with them. Examples of exactly how are already described in this article. We also build the right relationship with the children, until everything works out, but we try very hard. And you will succeed.
How do you raise your children and act in different situations? Share your experience in the comments.
*The article was sent by our subscriber Alita.