Contents
Today it is customary to talk about its health benefits, both physical and mental. A sexologist explains when masturbation can be dangerous and what to do about it.
Masturbation: norm and addiction
Masturbation can be a great way to relieve tension or cope with sexual hunger in the absence of a partner. For most of us, it is a natural part of life and a healthy sexuality. But it happens that the craving for self-satisfaction goes beyond the boundaries of reason.
In these cases, «safe sex» can become addictive and have the same fatal and devastating consequences as, for example, drug or alcohol addiction.
Preferring masturbation to intimate relationships with a partner, we find ourselves in isolation. In addition, at some point we cease to control our urges in public places.
Where does this addiction come from?
When a child is traumatized or abused, they lack opportunities to express anger, despair, or grief. In addition, there may be an open or unspoken prohibition in the family to complain and talk about their experiences. Fearing open conflict, the child may put the needs of their abuser(s) or dysfunctional family members ahead of their own desires.
These negative childhood emotions do not go away, but cause internal discomfort that needs to be resolved, and without access to a psychotherapist or support from loved ones, a child can develop a tendency to addiction.
Masturbation is one of the most accessible ways to drown out suffering: in order to calm down, you only need your own body. In a sense, this is a unique “drug” that money cannot buy. Alas, for many sex addicts, masturbation becomes their first «dose».
Anxiety, fear, jealousy and other basic emotions can instantly trigger the need for self-gratification. The addict does not have time to make a connection between stress and their response to it.
What to do if masturbation becomes an obsessive need?
I would advise first of all to master various ways of self-soothing: meditation, walking, breathing exercises, yoga. This will help normalize your sex life.
About the author: Alexandra Katehakis is a sexologist, director of the Healthy Sex Center in Los Angeles, and author of Erotic Intelligence: How to Ignite Strong, Healthy Desire and Break Sexual Addiction.