Joint custody: A lawyer’s point of view

After a divorce, couples are increasingly tempted to opt for joint custody. Nearly 20% of the children of separated couples are now in joint residence. However, specialists do not recommend this device to parents of small children. Maître Rodolphe Costantino, lawyer at the Paris Bar, sheds light on us.

What is the assessment of this device, 10 years after its legalization?

At first glance, I draw a rather positive assessment. The numbers are on the rise, and many children are in joint custody. From a certain age, it is even a need clearly displayed by children. They need to express this equity between the father and the mother, even if this device does not always suit them.

With hindsight, on the other hand, we observe through the testimonies that those who experienced joint custody ten years ago, and who are now adults, lacked continuity. They did not feel at home anywhere. To have two houses is not to have a home.

What kinds of disorders can manifest themselves in these children?

Serious problems are often reported to the Allo Parents Bébé call center. Even if, at the beginning, the mothers go there cheerfully because they think it is the best solution, they realize in practice that joint custody is not suitable for their child. There are very marked things like sleep disorders, but also the feeling of abandonment felt by young children. The latter are afraid of separation and may therefore oppose their mother more.

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Why do the symptoms appear more in the mother’s home?

Parents, but especially mothers, report executives between 0 and 3 years old. Children stay nine months in their mother’s womb and naturally feel closer to her. The little one needs the mother in the sense of the caregiver. During this period, the father acts above all as a third party separator of the mother-child relationship. The young child needs continuity, security, routine care, on the social level. Otherwise, the baby can no longer find his way around his body space, especially if he has to change his residence. He needs to be in one place.

What would be the point to change in the current law?

Joint custody is at the origin of lobbyists for fathers’ associations. The law was created to strengthen ties with each parent. This legislation arose for the sake of co-parenting and does not talk about the rights of the child, it places adults in a claim to satisfy a right. But this law does not conform to family matters. The interest is on the side of the parent and not of the child, things have been reversed.

To discover in video: Visiting rights for young children

What advice would you give to separated parents?

In any case, the separation is traumatic for the children. The least problematic solution would be the one that best suits the little ones. Because they are the most exposed to this difficult situation and they sometimes have difficulty intellectualizing things.

To discover in video: On alternate custody, and transferred abroad

Often, joint custody appears to be the solution for parents who separate. However, it does not take the child into account. So the only advice I could give is to think about it well before putting this device in place, to weigh the pros and cons and above all to put yourself to the test. Some take the time to get married, but when it comes to divorce, they want to go fast, and children can suffer. Sometimes time does its work and it is with time that we find the best solutions.

To discover in video: conditions to be met to set up joint custody