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Many of us are familiar with unpleasant, disturbing thoughts that arise spontaneously – like uninvited guests. What to do so that they do not take away our peace and sleep?
They appear as if from nowhere – unusual, disturbing thoughts or frightening images. Their content can be different: dangers, sex, violence, our phobias, something shameful or indecent … In any case, they are always unpleasant and cause us anxiety or shame. The more we try to drive away an unwanted thought, the harder it is to do so.
Sometimes it is associated with a mental illness, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD sufferers are so tormented by intrusive thoughts that they regularly perform special rituals to try to protect themselves from them. Similar thoughts also often arise with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), caused by an experienced mental trauma.
“At the same time, obsessive thoughts often appear in mentally healthy people,” emphasizes psychiatrist Kerry-Ann Williams. Usually they are provoked by stress and anxiety. Sometimes they occur for a period – for example, due to hormonal changes in the body – and then disappear on their own. For example, in women after childbirth. “Any severe stress increases the risk of intrusive thoughts,” explains Williams.
During periods of increased stress and forced isolation
“Many of us (especially women) have experienced significant stress during the lockdown caused by the pandemic. We also often experience anxiety during life transitions. At these moments, we often move away from others, we begin to be tormented by the fear of aging, death, and disease. All this provokes anxiety, and in some cases obsessive thoughts, ”explains psychiatrist Oliviera Bogunovic.
Remember that intrusive thoughts are unpleasant, but not dangerous.
And they do not mean at all that you really want to implement those ideas that arise in your head against your will.
“Many patients feel ashamed to talk about having such thoughts. If they are resolved, they often begin with reservations: “Don’t think that I’m crazy, but I constantly have such a strange thought.” It may involve harming someone close to you, such as a small child. It’s understandable to be horrified, explains Carrie-Anne Williams: “I can’t believe I’m getting ideas like this, I shouldn’t tell anyone about it or they’ll think there’s something wrong with me.”
How to identify intrusive thoughts
Main signs of obsessive thoughts
She is unusual for us. Intrusive thoughts are very different from anything we normally think about. For example, you suddenly have images associated with cruelty and violence in your head.
She worries us. It gives us discomfort, and we would like to get rid of it.
She’s hard to control. Intrusive thoughts often come back again and again, despite our attempts to drive them away.
“The more you think about it, the stronger the anxiety and the worse the thoughts themselves become,” explains Williams. Therefore, instead of struggling with intrusive images, it is worth learning to get along with them.
How best to respond to them
Determine that this thought is alien to you. “Tell yourself this is just an obsession, I don’t really think so, it goes against my beliefs and principles, I don’t want to do this,” advises Williams.
Don’t try to fight her. Just accept this thought as a fact and don’t try to drive it away.
Don’t judge yourself. Strange and frightening thoughts do not mean that you are sick or something is wrong with you.
When to ask for help
If obsessive thoughts are preventing you from functioning fully, preventing you from working or enjoying life, it may be worth contacting a psychologist. Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy (CBT) is particularly effective in helping to cope with them. Working with a therapist will help you revisit some of your old thought patterns.
As a result, it will be easier for you to cope with stress and anxiety due to unwanted thoughts.
Yes, and they themselves, perhaps, will occur much less frequently.
If such thoughts arise for a reason, but are caused by some deep problem (constant stress, anxiety disorder, the consequences of psychological trauma), first of all it is worth addressing it. Even if you are not ready to tell the therapist in detail about the content of unwanted thoughts, he will still be able to help you. “At the same time, therapy will not necessarily be long-term. Sometimes these problems can be solved very quickly,” emphasizes Carrie-Anne Williams.