“Contractions every five minutes since 11am, but baby who does not engage in the pelvis, no epidural, of course! I was given the mask, but Zhomm, finding me stupid when I breathed this air, told me to stop because he thinks that it pisses me too much (go ahead honey, suffer!). 21:30 p.m., baby begins to engage, there are two midwives. The oldest one said to me: “That’s it, the head is coming, and the young one looks, looks at me and I see her turn her eyes !!! So there, me total panic, I wonder what is going on, I am told: “Everything is fine, don’t worry, she is just a little tired …” Ok. I keep pushing, 22pm baby still not here, the young midwife comes back because an episiotomy has to be done, and there she cuts and boom, she falls back into the wild !!! (it’s true that I had 14 sons just outside). 22:04 pm, baby is there and my man, seeing him, shouts out loud: “ohhh it looks like foie gras !!! »I learned later that the midwife in question was pregnant, but did not know it, she learned it during my stay in maternity. ”
“My first childbirth was super cool, I even finished taking my son out. What a moment of emotion! The midwife had just put the stirrups upside down and there, my husband looks at me and says: “I think you are going to have a problem with your legs. Suddenly, as the midwife was no longer in the room, it was he who put the stirrups back in place. Very handy, even during childbirth, he had to put his hand to the paw !!! ”
“After my baby comes out, the midwife asks me to push again to expel the placenta. I said to him: “Oh noonnnnnnnn” screaming in distress because I had just suffered a lot, as if I did not know that the placenta had to be eliminated too. So, I take my courage with both hands (or rather with two feet on the stirrups) and I start pushing, pushing and pushing again, quite happy to be of service … While the midwife has already left to check if my famous placenta is quite complete… In reality, it is by saying “Oh noooonnn” that the placenta slipped by itself, so I had nothing more to do… ”
“For baby1, my man took the wrong delivery room and, with his green blouse, another couple mistook him for a doctor! Well yes, the midwife had not warned him of my “move” lol! Then, finding the time long, he had fun with the big moving lamp (you know what I’m talking about?) And didn’t put it back in its place. When the midwife entered the room, she took it right in the head and, of course, we were crumbling with laughter !!!
For baby3, I woke him up in the middle of the night and, when he arrived at the maternity ward, he noticed that he had kept his pajamas or rather the all faded and shapeless t-shirt with which he was sleeping lol !!! So he spent the whole delivery with his fleece jacket on his back, and believe me, he was not cold !!! ”