My son has been terrified of flies in recent days. March is not the most “fly” time, in the summer I can’t imagine how we would have survived these days. Flies seem to him everywhere and everywhere. Today he refused to eat pancakes at his grandmother’s, because it seemed to him that a midge had got between the pancakes. Yesterday in a cafe he threw a tantrum: “Mommy, are there definitely no flies here? Mom, let’s go home as soon as possible from here! Although it is usually impossible for him to leave at least something uneaten in a cafe. How to respond to tantrums? What to answer questions? After all, I can’t be 100% sure that there are no flies in the cafe … Is it normal for a three-year-old child to have such fears, it’s not clear where they came from?
I’ll start with the last question. In general, for a three-year-old child, entomophobia (fear of various insects) is not a characteristic phenomenon. Children under the age of five are very interested in every living being, not experiencing disgust or fear, especially if none of the adults instills these feelings. Therefore, if a young child experiences fears associated with insects, then most likely we are talking about a phobia provoked by one of the adults. Either one of the family members has such a phobia and demonstratively in the presence of a child is afraid of insects, or no less demonstratively fights insects: “Cockroach! Give it! Give it! Fly! Beat her!»
What causes such gambling aggression of an adult is probably very dangerous — a child can come to such a conclusion, starting to be afraid of these small, but such terrible creatures. In our human eye, even such cute and beautiful insects as butterflies, upon closer examination, turn out to be quite unsightly and frightening.
There is another, unfortunately, quite common option for acquiring such a phobia: when someone older than a baby, not necessarily an adult, deliberately scares a small child: “If you don’t collect toys, the Cockroach will come, steal you and eat you!” Do not be surprised that after a couple of repetitions of such phrases, the child will begin to be afraid of cockroaches.
Of course, you should not deceive the child, telling him that there are absolutely no insects nearby. If the insect is nevertheless found out, there will be a tantrum, most likely, and the trust in the parent who deceived in such an important matter will be undermined. It is better to focus the attention of the child on the fact that the parent can protect the baby: «I can protect you.»
You can start with a similar phrase so that the child becomes calmer under the protection of an adult. In moments of fear, he himself does not feel the ability to stand up for himself in front of a frightening animal. Confidence in the strength of an adult calms the child. Then you can move on to phrases like: «When we are together, we can handle any insect.» In this case, the child, just like an adult, is endowed with the strength and confidence to cope with the situation, albeit not yet on his own, but in a team with the parent, but this is already an opportunity to help him feel differently in the face of possible danger. This is an intermediate step on the way to: «You can do it — you are not afraid of insects!».
If the child continues to worry after the calming words of an adult, you can take his hand and go around the room together to check how things are going with insects and make sure that nothing threatens. This is not a whim of a child; in fact, such an action will help him find peace.
It is human nature, as a rule, to be afraid of what he does not understand, or of what he knows little about. Therefore, if you consider with your child an atlas or an encyclopedia appropriate for the age, sections on insects, you can get a good therapeutic effect. The child gets acquainted with the fly, sees how it works, what it eats, how it lives — the fly becomes close and understandable, it loses the frightening halo of mystery and suspense, the child calms down.
It is good to read fairy tales with your child, where the main positive characters are insects. The most famous, of course, is the tale of the “Fly-Tsokotukha”, but besides it, V. Suteev has a number of tales with his own wonderful illustrations. Maybe at first the baby will simply listen to the fairy tale, not wanting to look at the pictures, or even refuse to listen at all. No problem, you can come back to this offer later.
When a child is already listening to a fairy tale about insects without trepidation, you can invite him to mold the one he liked from plasticine. It is good if an adult also takes part in the modeling, and not just watches. When a sufficient number of plasticine heroes has accumulated, it is possible to organize a plasticine theater in which the main puppeteer, who controls the once frightening animals, will be the child himself, now not afraid of them at all.
A little imagination and creative enthusiasm will help an adult relieve the baby of the anxieties and fears associated with insects.