Anticipation of relaxation — what could be better? But not everyone thinks so! Why does the prospect of a long freedom cause some not delight, but anxiety?
When she was twenty, Katerina went on a summer trip to Europe with friends. “I didn’t sleep for a minute the night before I left,” she recalls. “My stomach was spinning, I endlessly imagined all the bad things that could happen.” Fifteen years later, little has changed. “Every time I fear the approach of the holidays,” she admits. “I’m afraid of this amount of free time.”
Activity is a property of my nature. Indeed, some, like Katerina, think of idleness without pleasure. “Summer, more relaxed rhythm of life does not suit active people, those who are more inclined to act rather than feel,” confirms stress specialist, psychotherapist Dominique Servan.
The lack of urgent matters and a clear schedule can provoke immersion in unpleasant thoughts. Free time seems to invite debriefing, which, in turn, causes a feeling of dissatisfaction. Mild anxiety is a natural accompaniment to sudden freedom. But she shouldn’t feel guilty, says psychologist and coach Benjamin Lubzinski. You should not perceive as a “defect” your need for physical or intellectual activity. “Not everyone necessarily needs to grill to the state of a barbecue,” he jokes, alluding to passionate beach lovers.
In a society that promotes excellence in all areas, it’s easy to doubt yourself and your ability to excel.
It’s hard for me to move. Postpone work folders, retire for a few weeks … Some do not want to get out of the usual rhythm, change the established order of things. It takes time to adjust to a new way, reminds Dominique Servan: «The cessation of normal activities can take several days.» It is also possible that our reluctance to leave our habitual place refers us to the very first rejection of our habitual place — the moment of birth. How did we take it? By asking our parents about this, we can better understand our reactions.
I am oppressed by the demands of society. “Did you get a good tan? Did you swim well? Did you have a good rest?» These questions, which we are asked upon our return, imply that the holiday must be «good». The same is reminiscent of the luxurious hotels where colleagues stayed, and the turquoise sea in their Instagram photo (an extremist organization banned in Russia). All this (even apart from our consciousness) affects how we ourselves spend our holidays …
“We get the feeling that our vacation must meet some criteria,” Benjamin Lubzinski emphasizes. In a society that promotes excellence in all areas, among social networks that gloss over reality, it is easy to doubt yourself and your ability to be on top. And be wary of a vacation that is never “good enough.”
What to do
Prioritize
Perhaps our anxiety is the result of the «throw before the finish line» that we do before the holidays; as a result, stress increases at the moment when it should start to decrease. In this case, a few days before departure, you can apply the following strategy: focus on the most urgent tasks, instead of trying to complete everything in half a day.
Meditate
For anyone who finds it difficult to come to terms with doing nothing, daily meditation will help. In this way, you will achieve two goals at once: occupy the free time that worries you, and at the same time learn to be present in the current moment.
Find your meaning
Ask yourself what you yourself would like to devote your vacation to, fill your free time according to your own needs. A hike or a beach, volunteering, a rich cultural program … or sports? Listen to your true desires. This is the best remedy for anxiety.