Dreams do not always come true the way we want them to. It happens that all the cards are confused by the harsh reality. However, sometimes this is what helps us make the right choice and give up in time what does not suit us.
“Until recently, I thought that for the sake of the dream of becoming a screenwriter, I was capable of anything. Combining film school with work in the office and family, rewriting the script 27 times, cultivating meekness for editorial corrections — all this is difficult, but possible. And so I was called to a casting in the «scenario room» of the series, which beat all the ratings.
The project was so successful that the creators wrote the second season. The producer of the series sent me a task: to think over a couple of comedy situations for six characters. I prepared as if it were my biggest exam of my life! And here I am at Mosfilm, where Eisenstein, Pudovkin, Kuleshov, Room, Alexandrov once worked … My lips are dry, I feel pleasant excitement and live every step, because this is the road to a new world that attracts me so much.
I open the door to the pavilion. There are ten people at the table (the director and co-authors of the main screenwriter), I say hello — no one pays attention, I ask where I can sit — silence again. On the table is a three-liter bottle of whiskey, candy wrappers and orange peels. Almost everyone smokes, the windows are closed tightly. I find a place myself, take a glass of water, open a laptop with notes on the characters, wait for the discussion of ideas to begin.
The director tells tales about actresses, not embarrassed in expressions like “this fat and old one”, throws up ideas of possible storylines. Drinks. The screenwriter writes for him in a laptop, periodically referring to him as «my genius.» All this did not shock me. Already at the stage of developing ideas for the series, it became clear that they love provocation here. This is not how we were taught in film school, but when did reality coincide with study?
It was the second hour of the meeting, not a hint of constructiveness, on the contrary, a party was planned. Eyes began to water from tobacco smoke … When an offer arose for everyone to go to the director’s dacha, I was planning to go home. And this is where I got my attention…
— Where are you? Are we done yet?
— And everything is already clear.
She left with ease. The producer sent a message, saying that I “failed my chance”, I had to stay, endure (!) And get my first order. I didn’t answer. I understand that this is not my movie, not my team, of all the possible doors at Mosfilm, I definitely got in the wrong place. It turned out that for the sake of a dream, I’m far from ready for everything, and this feeling of being able to choose “mine or not mine” gives incredible strength.