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Sit down “on the track”, toss a coin where we want to return – many of us have our own little superstitions. But sometimes there are so many of them that they interfere with our lives. How to prevent them from becoming too intrusive?
“Superstition is a belief in unknown otherworldly forces that can influence our destiny and success,” Jungian analyst Tatyana Rebeko defines it. “From the point of view of depth psychology, this is an innate feature of our psyche. Superstitions originated with humanity and accompany it throughout its history.
Avoid chaos
Psychotherapist Christophe Andre explains that at the heart of superstition is our desire to establish causal relationships between events. The ability for such reasoning was necessary for our ancestors to survive. Therefore, it is often easier for our minds to invent a magical connection between two independent facts than to allow a coincidence. This is how we make an unpredictable world more orderly – if only in our imagination. I’ve been haunted by bad luck all day? It’s okay, that’s how it should be, because today is Friday the 13th.
Tame fate
“We intuitively understand that there are forces over which we have no control, but they can influence us,” explains Tatyana Rebeko. – For example, no matter how well I conduct my financial affairs, the global financial crisis will still affect me. We cannot control everything. This feeling creates anxiety. And inaction makes it worse. Rituals and signs are an opportunity to do something to protect against misfortunes, to establish harmony with the elements, or to console yourself. For example, a folk sign says: “Lack of money is before wealth” and advises giving alms in order to get rich. “The more anxious we are, the more we need superstition,” Christophe André adds. Rituals have the same comforting power as prayers. Risky situations, where the outcome depends not on the person, but on chance, also increase the need for superstition. Statistically, professional athletes, Formula 1 drivers and matadors are more superstitious than the average person.”
Nadezhda, 32 years old, programmer “I wanted to control everything that was happening around me”
“If I was invited to visit, I said to myself: “You need to think that it will be boring, then I will have a great evening.” I forbade myself to rejoice for fear that my joy would ruin everything. But one day I decided: enough superstitions to spoil my life – and went to a psychotherapist. I told him about myself, and sometimes he advised me, for example, to spend a day without an amulet, to make a list of negative thoughts before an important meeting … In the end, I realized that superstitions only hid my real problems – lack of self-confidence and the need to control everything around. Now I have abandoned the “magical thinking” and am not going to return to it … “
What to do?
Be patient with yourself
If your amulets, rituals and signs help to calm down, do not give them up.
Check by experience
In a difficult period of life, do you notice that you want to use conspiracies and spells more often, and following signs takes more and more time? Take a break and see what happens. It is unlikely that the number of misfortunes will increase dramatically.
Ask a specialist
Have you tried to stop doing your rituals and anxiety started to overwhelm you? Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety disorders.
Common memory
Superstitions establish not only an imaginary connection between facts, but also a very real one – between people. “We are also strongly influenced by family heritage and culture,” emphasizes Christophe André. If we simultaneously spit over our left shoulder with someone or turn aside together when we see a black cat on the road, we will feel a sense of community. Most likely, the same fairy tales were read to us in childhood. I never put bread crust side down – not because I believe it’s bad luck, but because my grandmother taught me that, and I do it in memory of her. And museum legends – for example, about the ghost of Emperor Paul I, who, as they say, still wanders around the Mikhailovsky Castle – enliven our common history, make it more exciting and close. Perhaps tapping on wood is a memory that our ancestors believed in a kind tree spirit, which was called for protection from evil.
About it
- Dennis Greenberger, Christine Padesky “Mood Management: Techniques and Exercises” Peter, 2008.
- Jose Antonio Marina “The Defeated Mind. Theory and practice of stupidity” Astrel, 2010.
Knowing of limits
“Superstition is a property of our psyche, it cannot be good or bad,” says Tatyana Rebeko. “As long as it helps us to live, and does not interfere, everything is in order.” We all – or almost all – sometimes have fun by stepping over cracks in the pavement. However, if we do this “to avoid misfortune” and panic, accidentally stepping on a rift, this already looks like a neurosis. In this case, it may be useful to consult with a specialist. “You can determine such a moment by the frequency of“ incantational ”actions,” Christophe Andre concludes, “by how many different superstitions a person has, and by how much they restrict his freedom.”
To the one who is near
Treat with respect the signs and amulets of superstitious people. It makes no sense to explain to a loved one that his rituals are useless – you will not convince him to abandon them, he will simply try to hide them from you. At the same time, remember that you do not have to subordinate your own behavior to someone else’s rules. If there are too many signs, you can remember or come up with “antidotes”. Spilled salt will not lead to a quarrel if a pinch is thrown over the left shoulder. Crossed fingers will “defuse” a black cat on the road. She also seems to have white hairs on the tips of her ears…