Contents
To eat chocolate
It’s nap time. We get rid of the unsweetened compotes by drinking a coffee. And we accidentally fall on a bar of chocolate. At the slightest noise on the stairs, we jump. The best ? We just told them no for a piece of candy. It is our duty to protect them as long as they are not yet addicted to sugar …
Check your notifications
During homework, bathing, in the movie queue: we can’t help ourselves, we check our Facebook app. If the children ask what we make, we answer “I have to send an email for work” when we have just shared an article in Gorafi. The smartphone has become our only link to the outside world, a kind of inverted blanket. Taking it reassures us: we are not just parents!
Have a drink
They are lying down. I repeat, they are lying! The way is clear. The aperitif can begin. How many of us are celebrating the end of toothbrushing, pee, history, lost plush, night light, gourd, tissues, blanket and more?
How many couples thus remake the world in front of a drink (and even a cigarette for the most irresponsible) as “before”? In the silence. Without the fear that less than 3 years old will slip on an orange rum forgotten on a corner of the table …
Say bad things about the mistress
Too dry, too nice, always late or completely obsessed with schedules, since the start of the year we have been talking to everyone about this major section teacher and her teaching methods not always in line with our values. But in front of our child, we do not let anything appear “It was today my loulou? “
As we know, as a parent of a student, criticizing a teacher head-on can never be beneficial for a child.
Discard the designs
They invade the living room table, the fridge door, the offices and the bedrooms: children’s drawings. Those of the holidays, those in the center, the failed coloring, the postcard drafts, the full of horny stickers, those made on a tablecloth at the restaurant, they are blooming everywhere. In front of the children, it is difficult to show our insensitivity to the slightest “work of art” presented. However, we cannot decently keep them all.
When you put a large load of it in the yellow trash can after dark, it’s like picking up an extra room in the house.
Say bad words
On this subject, debates are raging between parents. Some have not changed their habits as young adults and speak like carters in front of their children. But others censor themselves until aperitif time when they literally turn into teenagers from the first beer swallowed. Damn, that feels good.
Watching nonsense on TV
We tell them every day that after this cartoon, “it’s over, we stop, the TV makes you stupid, it burns the neurons, it’s violent, it’s not good, we go to bed, c ‘is stop, we turn off, at three I get angry ”. And as soon as they sleep (and we have eaten chocolate and had a drink), we collapse in front of a morbid series. Well yes, they will have the right to do it also later (in another life, far from us, we do not want to know these things).
Parents offers you 10 tips that parents do in secret from their children.
In video: 10 things parents do in secret from their children
Sort Lego by universe
All these unclassified pieces that we mix in a plastic box or in a cardboard box, in the evening quickly done well, and that we hide under a bed or in a cupboard… There are obsessive parents who do not sleep. not. And crack up on a Sunday afternoon when the children are invited to a birthday party. In an irrepressible frenzy, we begin to classify everything by universe and even order the missing parts on the Internet. The important thing in life is to know how to have fun.
Hide baby teeth (and letters to Santa Claus)
It is the obligatory lie of parents who want to maintain the magic of the little mouse. When the part is put down, we collect the small hollow tooth and keep it in a box that we will give later when the child has grown up, understood, lost his sweet illusions. And we will also return all the letters to Santa Claus that did not go to the North Pole.
Watch them sleep
After so much debauchery, alcohol, networks, Lego, there is one last thing that parents do in hiding from their children: sit on the edge of their little bed and watch them sleep. All that sweetness in their calm face, what could be more innocent? Besides us, of course?