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After the bustle of the day, the hands of the clock are slowly moving towards 21.00. Our baby, having played enough, begins to yawn, rub his eyes with his hands, his activity weakens, he becomes lethargic: everything suggests that he wants to sleep. But what if our child does not want to sleep, showing great activity even in the deep evening? There are children who are afraid to go to bed because they have terrible dreams. What should parents do then? And how many hours should our child sleep at different age intervals? Let’s try to answer these and other questions.
What is a dream? Maybe this is an attempt to look into the future, or maybe a mysterious message from above or frightening fears? Or maybe it’s all fantasies and hopes hidden in our subconscious? Or is it better to simply say that sleep is a physiological human need for rest? The mystery of sleep has always worried people. It seemed very strange that a vigorous and full of strength man would close his eyes at nightfall, lie down and seem to “die” before sunrise. During this time, he did not see anything, did not feel danger and was not able to defend himself. Therefore, in ancient times it was believed that sleep is like death: every evening a person dies and every morning is born again. No wonder death itself is called eternal sleep.
Not so long ago, scientists believed that sleep is a complete rest of the body, allowing it to restore the forces expended during wakefulness. So, in the «Explanatory Dictionary» by V. Dahl, sleep is defined as «rest of the body in oblivion of the senses.» Modern discoveries of scientists have proven the opposite. It turns out that during the night the body of the sleeping person does not rest at all, but “throws out” unnecessary garbage of random impressions from the memory, clears itself of toxins, and accumulates energy for the next day. During sleep, the muscles either tense or relax, the pulse changes its frequency, temperature and pressure “jump”. It is during sleep that the organs of the body work tirelessly, otherwise during the day everything will fall out of hand and get confused in the head. That is why it is not a pity to spend a third of your life on sleep.
Sleep is essential for body tissue repair and cell regeneration in both adults and children. A newborn baby, having just woken up from a nine-month hibernation in a warm, slightly cramped mother’s womb, begins to learn to sleep and stay awake. However, some babies confuse day with night. Loving mommy and daddy can help the baby develop the right physiological daily and nightly routine. During the day, a newborn baby can sleep in the light. Parents should not emphasize the elimination of all noises and sounds. After all, the day is filled with different sounds and energy. At night, on the contrary, the baby should be put to sleep in the dark, leaving a night light turned on if necessary. The place to sleep at night should be in a quiet, peaceful place. It is advisable for all relatives to talk in a whisper at this time. So, gradually, the newborn learns to distinguish day from night at the level of sensations and thereby redistribute the hours of sleep, concentrating them on the dark, night time of the day. Children need different amounts of sleep depending on their age (see Table 1).
Table 1. Average sleep duration at different ages
Now there is a lot of controversy among pediatricians about the duration of daytime sleep in young children. In the first year and a half of life, children need to get some sleep in the morning and after the main meal. It is desirable that in total the amount of such sleep was 4 hours a day for the first six months, and then gradually decreased. Many pediatricians advise maintaining the one-hour nap habit for as long as the baby feels the need.
Thus, infants can sleep up to eighteen hours a night, children ten to twelve hours, and teenagers need ten hours of sleep a night (and are content with an average of six). People of active age need seven to nine hours of rest (and sleep less than seven). The elderly need the same amount (and they sleep only five to seven hours due to the fact that their “biological clock” gives the command to wake up too early).
Numerous studies on sleep have proven that the most favorable time for putting your baby to bed is from 19.00 to 21.30 hours. It is advisable not to miss this moment, otherwise you may encounter great difficulties. Having played enough for the day, the baby is physically tired by the evening. If a child is used to going to bed on time and parents help him in this, then he will quickly fall asleep, and in the morning he will wake up full of strength and energy.
It happens that physiologically the baby’s body is tuned in to sleep, but there are no psychological conditions for this. For example, the baby does not want to part with toys; or someone came to visit; or parents have no time to put him down. In these cases, the child is deceived: if the baby is forced to stay awake, at a time when he needs to sleep, his body begins to produce excess adrenaline. Adrenaline is a hormone that is needed when faced with an emergency. The child’s blood pressure rises, the heart beats faster, the baby feels full of energy, and drowsiness disappears. In this state, it is very difficult for a child to fall asleep. It will take about one hour before he calms down and falls asleep again. This time is necessary for the reduction of adrenaline in the blood. By disturbing the baby’s sleep pattern, parents run the risk of spoiling the regulatory mechanisms on which the general condition of the baby depends on the next day. That is why it is so necessary to offer quieter games in the evening, which gradually move to the crib, and the child falls asleep without any problems.
So, what does it take to make our baby want to sleep and fall asleep with pleasure?
Preparation for sleep
Time to sleep
Set the time for going to bed: from 19.00 to 21.30 hours, depending on the age of the child and family conditions. But this should not be a purely mechanical action. It is desirable to create conditions for the baby so that he himself learns to control when he goes to bed. For example, you can tell your child that evening is coming. The evening is an objective fact that is not subject to discussion. Parents can buy a special alarm clock, according to which the baby will count the time for quiet games and the time for falling asleep. For example, you can say: “Dude, you see it’s already eight o’clock on the clock: what is it time to do?”
Ritual for falling asleep
This is a transitional moment from the game to the evening procedures. The main task of this moment is to make going to bed a long-awaited and beloved ritual for parents and children. These moments are very uniting and strengthening the family. They are remembered for a lifetime. When a child falls asleep at a certain time and sleeps peacefully, parents have time to be alone with each other. The total time for the ritual is 30-40 minutes.
Putting toys to bed
Each family chooses the content of the ritual depending on the characteristics of the child and the general family culture or traditions. For example, parents may address their child with the following words: “Darling, it’s already evening, it’s time to get ready for bed. All the toys are waiting for you to wish them «good night». You can put someone to bed, tell someone «bye, see you tomorrow.» This is the initial stage, it is very useful, because, putting toys to bed, the child himself begins to prepare for bed.
Evening swim
Water is very relaxing. With water, all daytime experiences go away. Let him spend some time (10-15 minutes) in a warm bath. For greater relaxation, add special oils to the water (if there are no contraindications). The child experiences great pleasure from pouring water from one container to another. It’s good when some toys float in the bathroom. Washing and brushing your teeth is also included in this stage.
Favorite pajamas
After water procedures, which have already had a relaxing effect on the baby, we dress him in warm, soft pajamas. Such a seemingly simple thing as pajamas can have a very strong contribution to the overall mood for sleep. Pajamas should be made of comfortable, comfortable fabric. It is desirable that it be soft, pleasant, perhaps with some kind of children’s drawings or embroidery. The main thing is that pajamas should give pleasure to the baby — then he will gladly put on it. Putting on pajamas, you can massage the baby’s body with light, calm movements with some kind of cream or oil.
I would like to draw attention to the fact that light massage and putting on pajamas should take place on the bed in which the child will sleep.
Going to bed with music
When parents prepare the baby for bed (namely, put on pajamas), you can turn on soft music. Classical music is best suited for this moment, such as lullabies, which are included in the golden fund of classics. Music with the sounds of wildlife will also be appropriate.
Storytelling (tales)
Soft music sounds, the lights are dimmed, the child lies in bed, and the parents tell him some little story or fairy tale. You can invent stories yourself or tell stories from the life of your parents, grandparents themselves. But in no case should the story be instructive, for example: “When I was little, I …” It is better to tell it in the third person. For example: “Once upon a time there was a girl who loved to put toys to bed herself. And once…” It’s good when children learn about the past of their grandparents from such little stories. They develop love for their loved ones, perhaps already old ones. Children love stories about animals.
It is important to tell the story in a calm, quiet voice.
I would like to note that the proposed ritual for falling asleep is indicative. Each family can think over its own ritual, depending on the characteristics of the child and the general traditions of the family. But whatever the ritual, the main thing is that it be performed regularly. By devoting approximately 30-40 minutes every day to the ritual of falling asleep, parents will soon notice that children are less and less resistant to this. On the contrary, the baby will look forward to this moment when all attention will be devoted to him.
A few good recommendations:
- The final phase of the ritual, namely the telling of the story, should take place in the room where the child sleeps.
- Children love to sleep with some soft friend (toy). Choose with him in the store that toy with which he will fall asleep with pleasure.
- Music therapists have calculated that sounds caused by rain, the rustling of leaves, or the crashing of waves (called «white sounds») bring about maximum relaxation in a person. Today on sale you can find cassettes and CDs with music and «white sounds» designed to fall asleep. (WARNING! Be careful: not for everyone!)
- Bedtime rituals must be stopped before the baby falls asleep, otherwise they will create an addiction that will be difficult to get rid of.
- Bedtime rituals should be varied so that the child does not have a habit of one person or one thing. For example, one day dad puts down, another day — mom; one day the baby sleeps with a teddy bear, the next day with a bunny, and so on.
- Several times after the baby has been put to bed, the parents may come back to caress the baby without asking. So the baby will make sure that the parents will not disappear while he sleeps.