How to help a loved one overcome illness

According to WHO experts, from 800 thousand to 1 million cases of breast cancer are registered annually in the world. It is not uncommon for a woman who is diagnosed to develop depression. Psychologist Olga Rozhkova told what to do if one of the relatives encountered this disease.

These recommendations are useful both in the initial period, when a woman experiences a severe shock from realizing her dangerous diagnosis, and during treatment and at the stage of rehabilitation. Remember that the role of loved ones is very important. Thanks to communication with family and friends, a person can again feel strong, loved, needed and able to win.

The first difficult period shock phase, when a person learns that he has a dangerous disease. This phase may be accompanied by anxiety, panic and fear. At this stage, it is important for loved ones to show willingness to help, not to leave alone with the disease. It is good if you can visit a doctor together with the patient, take tests, help in collecting information and documents for treatment.

Then it may come denial phase. Often patients delay hospitalization, rechecking the diagnosis and wasting valuable time. During this period, sleep disturbances, neurotic conditions, the return of children’s fears of darkness or loneliness are possible. The only correct position of relatives is patience, attention, support and accompaniment during visits to the doctor.

By accepting aggression on yourself, you help the psyche of a sick person to get rid of destructive emotions.

Then comes aggressive phaseassociated with the search for the cause of the disease and the identification of those responsible. As a rule, fear is hidden behind all aggressive attacks against doctors and relatives.

By accepting aggression on yourself, you help the psyche of a sick person to get rid of destructive emotions. It is important to remember that all offensive words do not apply to you personally – they are dictated by fear and severe overexertion. Try to accept this surge of emotions. The patient should not be left alone with his experiences, because aggression, not splashed out, can lead to complications and suicidal thoughts.

Next stage – contract phase. During this period, it is important to maintain a positive and active mood of the patient as much as possible. Remind them of her strengths as a person and how she overcame other challenges.

You can’t pull a person out of this state too quickly: this is a certain phase of the adaptation of the psyche to the disease

Depression phase occurs, as a rule, in all seriously ill people. Most often, during this period, a person makes poor contact, stops fighting and avoids friends. In this situation, you can support a person in various ways: silent presence, tactile contact, conversations.

It is important to share the experiences of the patient, to show her that she is not alone, that the struggle for her life continues and that they are worried about her. You can not try to pull a person out of this state too quickly. This is a certain phase of the adaptation of the psyche to the disease. But if this condition lasts for a long time, medical support is needed.

On the disease acceptance phase there is a qualitative restructuring of thinking and a reassessment of values. This is a phase of spiritual growth and normalization of the psychological state. At this stage, a person mobilizes all forces to fight the disease. But the help of loved ones is still important.

Talk about feelings

Denying your negative feelings or the feelings of the patient deprives both parties of the opportunity to reduce internal tension. Explain your feelings, show sincerity and show that you see a strong person in a woman. Communicate openly, do not isolate the patient from the life of family and loved ones. When a woman is involved in family affairs, supports her relatives, she feels more confident.

In the process of communication, create conditions so that the patient can share her emotions, fears and difficult feelings with you. Try to understand what is behind the statements and actions of the patient.

As a rule, fear is hidden behind aggression, and the behavior of a “capricious child”, tearfulness or irritability is a signal of the exhaustion of the adaptive mechanisms of the psyche. During such a period, you need to give a person time to gather and restore strength.

Demonstrate willingness to endure all difficulties together

This creates a sense of security and reduces anxiety. Be sensitive to the desires of the patient, offer her options for activities that distract and replenish her strength. Watching movies together, relaxing music, walking in the fresh air, pleasant meetings with friends. If possible, involve a psychologist who will help you get through a difficult period.

Don’t indulge too much

And yet, you can’t adapt too much to the patient, infringing on your interests – this reduces the sincerity of the relationship and depletes your strength. Talk about your needs calmly and confidently. Refuse to comply with impossible requests in advance, explaining your refusal in detail.

Set goals

Plan for the future, set achievable goals. If a person sees the real results of his efforts, this returns faith in himself and his capabilities.

Encourage initiative

Support any activity and independent decisions of the patient. Don’t try to do everything for her. So you only deprive her of the desire to overcome difficulties on her own and fight for herself. Ask what the patient wants and can do for herself. Your task is not to save, but to help maintain activity in life and faith in overcoming the disease.

Support morally

A woman is always a woman. Compliment her, notice her improvement in appearance, increased activity, good mood, and any positive changes in appearance or psychological state.

Avon has long been a part of the global women’s health movement. The project aims to remind how important it is to take care of the health of loved ones, and to draw the attention of women to the need for an annual breast examination. One of the central elements of the campaign was a social video. His heroes are ordinary people who confess their love to each other and once again remind that the best manifestation of this feeling is caring for the health of those who are truly dear to us.

About expert

Olga Rozhkova – Certified psychologist, member of the board of the Association of Oncopsychologists of Russia, expert of the Avon charity program “Together Against Breast Cancer”.

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