How to deal with a bad mood: 12 tricks

Like an ominous black cloud, a bad mood quickly covers me and poisons my thoughts. It’s like I’m turning into a dragon, and flames seem to come out of my nostrils. The whole world around seems hostile, and at such moments it is better for others to stay away from me. My gaze burns with rage, words capable of hurting anyone who gets in the way. Along with anger, energy and strength grow in me. I’m willing to do anything to protect myself…

“I’m in a bad mood today,” I once said to a colleague and friend.

I was afraid that she would see the dragon, I was ashamed of my anger, I wanted to warn her because I was afraid to ruin our relationship.

«Seriously? But you can’t tell,” she replied.

It’s strange, most often people around don’t see the dragon… All my life I tried to hide it and, it seems, succeeded in this.

«Well, anyway, you have a right to be in a bad mood, given what’s going on in your life,» she continued.

What? Do I have a right to be in a bad mood? I had never heard anything like it before, and this idea changed my whole life.

As a child, I was never allowed to do this. Anger was not considered a normal reaction to any event, it was regarded as bad behavior. It was believed that I, a good girl, should always be happy. My anger was considered unacceptable. And so I was doomed to feel shame, guilt, and anxiety.

I wonder if a dragon would have settled in me if I was allowed to experience and express anger and anger?

I had to go through a path of spiritual growth in order to learn compassion for myself because of the negative feelings I was experiencing. Indeed, in fact, both anger and a bad mood are a completely natural part of our lives. They should not be condemned or regarded as destructive. We can control them, deal with them without harming anyone.

Over 20 years of working on myself and practicing with clients, I have developed these techniques to help cope with a bad mood.

1. Don’t fight him

It’s like pounding your hands on the water when you’re drowning, or panicking when you’re in a quagmire — you only make it worse for yourself. Just be aware of your condition and accept that it is at this moment. (I am referring specifically to a bad mood, not depression, which requires the help of a qualified specialist.)

2. Learn lessons

What played the role of a trigger that provoked a bad mood? Is there something positive in this situation? Is there any lesson to be learned from it? For example, I have found that my mood deteriorates when I take on too much and fail to set healthy boundaries. Sometimes adverse circumstances offer opportunities for learning and growth.

3. Appreciate it!

Anger can mobilize, give energy and strength. In the depths of my soul, I am sometimes even glad for this dragon inside me, which is full of energy. How many things can I do in this state! I am fearless and determined — which in itself is only good for me. Think about how you can use your bad mood.

4. Understand that these feelings are normal.

They may seem irrational, but this is a natural reaction given our nature and upbringing. Some situation can cause us to associate with the past and awaken past feelings. Our emotional response seems out of proportion to her, but it is quite understandable if we consider what is happening in a broad context.

5. Don’t judge yourself too harshly.

None of us are perfect, we all continue to evolve. Repeat like a mantra: «I’m only human, I try my best to do what I can.» Accept and forgive yourself as someone who loves you dearly would.

6. Focus on the present

Do not aggravate your condition by torturing yourself with thoughts about the past or worrying about what might happen in the future. Bring yourself back to the present with mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or meditation, and reset your mind, body, and spirit.

7. Pay Attention to Thoughts

Resolve not to listen to negative thoughts. Switch your attention to something good: Feeling grateful contributes to a positive mood. Show yourself empathy (for example, “It’s completely understandable why you are so upset … Don’t grab everything at once, do one thing at a time … Everything will be fine …”).

8. Take a break

Give yourself a break. When you are in a bad mood, it’s time to go for a walk, to be in silence. Conversely, this is the most inopportune moment to discuss work and personal problems. Let those you care about know you’re not in the best shape right now, and bite your tongue so you don’t say something you’ll regret later.

9. Take care of yourself

Figuratively, this can be imagined as an “injection” of self-love. What can please you now? It can be a real trifle: make yourself a coffee, eat something delicious, take a bubble bath, go to bed early. But alcohol or shopping is not good here: compulsive behavior is often disguised as self-care, but in fact it only brings harm.

10. Tell loved ones what you need

You should not expect that other people will be able to read your thoughts, otherwise you will find frustration and conflict. Talk to loved ones, ask them to support you or let you be alone, depending on what you need right now.

11. Realize that you are not your anger.

You may think that the dragon is you, but it is not. Your essence is light and love, but it happens that anger obscures them.

12. Realize that this too shall pass.

Moods have their ebb and flow. Trust this immutable law of the universe: some time will pass, and your mood will improve.

The more often you practice these techniques, the more compassion and concern you have for yourself, the less often this painful condition will overshadow your life. Peace and tranquility in the soul will be restored. At least until the wind changes and life teaches you a new lesson. As the poet Carol Lynn Pearson wrote, “The hero sets out on a journey to fight the dragon and find the treasure—the real self.”