Homosexuality: being homosexual, how to talk about it?

Homosexuality refers to a sexual orientation where people experience physical, emotional and / or sexual attraction to people of the same sex. A homosexual person may choose to define themselves as such if they experience sexual attraction, associate themselves with a gender identity, or refer to sexual practices. The word “homosexuality” applies to men or women, although we can speak of gay for men and lesbians for women.

There are no criteria for considering oneself as homosexual, nor behaviors that are exclusively associated with homosexual people. This gender identity can be claimed by anyone in their lifetime. Indeed, our sexual orientation and our attractions can evolve during our existence and according to our meetings.

The announcement of your sexual identity to those close to you, and in particular to your family, can be an essential step for personal development and the construction of an identity. This confession, which is commonly referred to as “coming out”, can be a difficult ordeal for some. Indeed, homosexuality is still taboo among some, and there are families in which such an announcement might not be accepted.

In fact, there is no obligation to share this part of yourself with your family. Some people prefer to keep this information private, believing that there is no announcement to make. Indeed, why should we announce that we are homosexual (the) when this practice is not done among heterosexuals? In addition, it sometimes happens that you are not sure of your identity, or that you do not feel the need to put a label on it.

If you want to talk about your homosexuality, that you wonder about your sexual and / or sentimental orientation, but that you do not know where to turn, there are associations which are there to listen to you. Sexuality is an intimate subject that is sometimes difficult to discuss with those close to you, and even more so when you are in a period of doubt. The reception centers will be able to answer your questions and help you see more clearly.

Even today, homosexuals are victims of discrimination, prejudice and violence. If this was your case, you can turn to an association, which is also there to support victims of homophobic discrimination in their efforts.

It can happen that you become aware of your attraction to people of the same sex when you are in a relationship. Talking about your homosexuality to your partner can be all the more painful because it can be interpreted as a lie or a betrayal towards your couple. If you no longer feel that you are in tune with your relationship, this desire torments you and you feel the need to confess it to your partner, it may be important to do so.

Try to explain your feelings and the reasons that push you to confess. If you feel more attraction to the opposite sex, this is not about a lack of desire for your partner. Reassure him and make him understand that despite the feelings you have for him, you are no longer fulfilling in this relationship which no longer corresponds to you.

Despite certain myths, homosexual practices between men or between women do not differ greatly from heterosexual practices. Between two men, oral sex (fellatio or rimming) is commonly practiced. Anal penetration is not systematically at the center of sexual intercourse, and can be practiced digitally, with a penis or a sextoy.

Among lesbians, there are also several sexual practices. Oral sex is often a part of foreplay. This category includes, for example, cunnilingus or rimming. Penetration, whether anal or vaginal, can be done with the fingers, or with an object, such as a sextoy (vibrator, etc.) Finally, the friction between the sexes is a caress that stimulates the clitoris and the vulva area, erogenous and very sensitive.

How to tell your parents that you are gay or lesbian

It can be difficult for young people, boys and girls, to understand what their sexual orientation is. It’s hard to admit to yourself that you’re gay or lesbian when everyone around you loves people of the opposite sex. However, when a person is sure that he does not have feelings for the opposite sex, he begins to understand that sooner or later he will have to open up.

Sharing that you’re gay can be difficult, especially if you haven’t talked about sex with your parents before. However, you will have to come out. A person may simply fear the reaction of their parents. It is much more difficult if there was talk in the family about intolerance towards sexual minorities. It is worth preparing yourself, and preparing parents for this. It may not be easy for all participants in this intimate revelation.

A teenager or already an adult may need support from parents, understanding. However, he is afraid to shock his loved ones, to alienate them from himself, to see misunderstanding in their eyes or even disappointment.

How to tell parents?

– Feel the ground. It is important to assess the situation and try to guess the reaction of the parents. For example, put on a family TV movie in which there is an unconventional couple. You can casually talk about great people who were gay or lesbian. It’s good when parents speak neutrally.

– Hints. It is worth leaving open articles about gays, non-traditional couples, watching films so that relatives notice this.

– A story about friends. You can also test the waters with a story that someone you know is of non-traditional sexual orientation. You can see the reaction of the parents to this. However, it is one thing – someone else’s child, and completely different – your own.

– When the parents reacted normally to the story, then you can invite this friend or girlfriend to visit and have a conversation. Already at this time, parents can guess the hints.

– Coming out. You can tell your parents directly about who you are, or you can talk to each parent separately. It is worth talking first with one of the parents who will treat you with more understanding, so he can become an argument “for” in the conversation.

Recognition can also be done remotely. For example, in a letter, voice message.

It is important to understand and consider the feelings of parents. It is also worth explaining whether they will have grandchildren, how all this happens, to have a full conversation. It’s important to be calm and talk about how much you love your parents.

If people categorically do not accept a different sexual orientation, then it is important to assess the risks.