Dance Mersault, counter-investigation, the writer Kamel Daoud describes the anti-hero of The Stranger, who is also the murderer of the Arab, as a being “trapped on an island“And who is”brings forth with genius like a self-indulgent parrot“. It is a question here, for the Algerian writer, of describing the personal satisfaction of the character of Meursault, which goes moreover, even, until the fatuity … Assassin who was, however, celebrated by the History thanks to the beauty of the language, thanks to the filter of Albert Camus’ writing … It is, in fact, not always easy to know how to react, when you are in front of someone complacent, it is that is, in another acceptance of this term, facing someone who nods to our tastes and feelings to please us.

Latin author Terence wrote in The Andrian, in Carthage, around 185 to 159 BC: “Flattery, the truth ill birth“, that is to say : “Complacency makes friends, frankness breeds hate“. And yet: something that is done out of complacency, in reality, is conducted or manifested only out of politeness, but is neither true, nor deep, nor felt. Complacency is then defined as the disposition of the mind of one who seeks to please by adapting to someone’s tastes or desires.

Can we, therefore, consider that friendship could come from such an expression of falsehood, from such a facade attitude? It seems, in fact, far removed from a real friendship, which wants to be sincerity, which requires to be oneself in depth with the other. Which also requires expressing oneself as one is, knowing how to listen to the other without lying to him, nor giving him an inaccurate or falsified reflection of himself. And so, this friendship as described by Terence would only be fictitious, and, in reality, a real friendship must be able to allow anyone to tell their friend, without pretense and without false admiration, their mistakes and their flaws. : which is, for a loved one, for an intimate, the only possibility of genuinely moving forward.

But in everyday life, we are rarely the victim of complacency going so far as to disguise a crime … We would rather be potential victims of small daily pettiness, of compliments devoid of depth and reality. A piece of advice here: that of not giving in to the ease of compliments disclosed without restraint, without sharpness.

More harmful still, perhaps, is the complacency of a father or a mother towards his children, which induces in this parent an indulgence which is very often blameworthy, even dangerous for the good development of the child. Here, we will recall the role of the Superego in all its complexity, which, playing the role of an integration of parental authority, will be contrary to any form of complacency, understood here as an excess of indulgence. The parent must be put back to face his responsibility, because it is a question of teaching children the limits. However, setting the limits consists, above all, in saying no to them, in setting the framework.

Finally, faced with a complacent act which is only an excessive manifestation of politeness, but is absolutely not truth, nor depth and even less expression of a real feeling, we suggest this act of intimate resistance: keep its authenticity, do not not be fooled by appearances, nor by false compliments. Perhaps, also, can we get the complacent person to realize for himself this lack of fairness towards others, this falsity in his attitude and his words? And, then, allow her to revive within herself the question of the quality of her links to the other.

We may also be able to use the somewhat familiar expression: “We must not let ourselves be eaten up”, which was regularly issued by the priest Jean Castelein, a veteran of the Second World War. Subsequently, becoming a demanding and committed chaplain, Jean Castelein thus called for constant vigilance, he suggested engaging in deep and daily resistance, leading everyone to walk towards their true authenticity. In short, he called on not to be fooled by the sirens of appearing. To remain authentic. Faithful to oneself as to one’s values.