The mother’s care for the baby is visible, so it is not always clear why children need a father. However, in society, he is assigned the task of a breadwinner, and more is not required of him. In fact, the functions of the father are much broader.
The figure of the father appears in the child’s life a little later than the mother. In infancy, a woman takes care of the child, and dad “looms” somewhere in the background. With age, the child communicates more actively with his father and builds his relationship with him.
Children need a father to explore the world together
The child learns the world around him and interpersonal relationships through his parents. The main complexes, fears and aspirations are laid by his mom and dad. The relationship between the parents becomes the basis of the relationship in the future family of the child:
- If dad is aggressive and intolerant, and mom takes it for granted, the child, depending on gender, will try on the same model of behavior.
- A gentle and caring man in relation to his wife will unconsciously force his daughter to choose a soft and gentle spouse for herself.
These models do not always work directly, but a woman whose father was a violent alcoholic often does not even understand why she “attracts” lovers of strong drinks. Fathers, affectionately attached to their daughters, but tyrannizing their wives, will later sadly watch as their tender daughter suffers from an oppressive husband.
The situation is not very good when the family does not have a dad at all. In this case, the mother needs to find a “replacement” figure that will allow the grown up baby to correctly identify with his gender.
Dad is a person who opens a big world to a child. He is a mentor, teacher, counselor and protector. All of these functions are relative. The man acts as an intermediary between the child and the outside world.
For a boy, dad is a role model. The kid chooses an object of identification at the right time, and it is good if at this time he will have his dad next to him. If the dad is not there, the child will begin to copy the behavior of the leading object. It can be a strong-willed mother or grandmother. Often, a young man who grew up only in a female environment has problems with gender identification.
The girl needs her father as the first object of unconscious love.
On it, she tests her first female tricks and charms. Little girls deftly manipulate their fathers, experiencing the first beginnings of jealousy for their mother. This period is necessary for the future beauty. She learns to communicate with the opposite sex with her dad.
Children listen to those parents who confirm their words with deeds. You can prove to the kid the benefits of sports for a long time without getting up from the couch, but this is pointless. A dad who regularly goes skiing in winter and swims in summer is more likely to instill in his child a love of a healthy lifestyle.
A father in a family is not only a money purse. If the father has little time to communicate with the child, it should be used as much as possible. At dinner, ask your toddler about their successes and say a couple of encouraging phrases.
The most difficult age is adolescence.
Find an opportunity to understand how your child lives. Accept a son or daughter with all the difficulties, ambitions, complexes and deliberate audacity. Do not lose contact with your child, try to forgive him in the most desperate situations.
Being a father is a difficult but feasible task. A personal example will allow you to grow a real man out of a son, and a warm attitude towards your wife will save your daughter from unhealthy conflicts in her family.