Childish masturbation and what to do about it

Probably, thumb sucking and nail biting are nothing compared to another pathological habit that may lie in wait for you and your baby. This morning he asked to come to bed with you, and very gently, trustingly, cuddling with his whole body, began to hug and kiss. You were so pleased and good that you did not want to attach any importance to this. But in the afternoon… You realized that you made a mistake by accidentally catching him playing… playing with the genitals. Moreover, the kid not only was not afraid, but very sincerely asked you who he really is, in fact … he is a boy or a girl, although he knows perfectly well who he is.

You were so shocked and overwhelmed that you couldn’t answer him. How is this to be assessed? What is it? Game, fun, mockery or elementary promiscuity? You overlooked something in the baby. How to get out of this situation? Take and punish, so that he remembers forever, or calmly explain correctly … But how to explain correctly here when he is a baby, barely three years old. Three years… but I thought of this… And you, unable to stand it, screamed, even remembering how in the morning he gently caressed you in bed…

You have discharged yourself, but you have committed the most terrible pedagogical mistake towards him, suggesting to him that he played so specially, and that he is a very bad child.

No, not bad. At the age of three, your baby is simply not yet mature enough to engage in masturbation. He unconsciously, playing, irritates the genitals. He does not know that there is some kind of sexual satisfaction there. They are driven only by curiosity and curiosity. Even before the year he began the path of the researcher, examining all parts of the body, and still studies them all. But if earlier he simply fixed that this is a handle, and this is a leg, now he wants to compare them with other people’s body parts. And he does not understand at his age of three that there are “forbidden” places on the body that cannot be explored. And if we also remind him of this, then his curiosity intensifies, and he tries to figure out why this organ is “more forbidden” than others, involuntarily focusing his attention on it, which can become a pathological habit.

In addition, from the age of three, a child often experiences a romantic feeling of love for his parents, and sometimes a feeling that is somewhat reminiscent of sexual attraction. But this is not a perversion, it is the norm, one of the many steps in the development of a healthy child. Moreover, physical attraction to relatives is a common occurrence and is not fraught with any oversight, because it is so nice to caress a loved one. The kid does everything without ulterior motives. He is pure and considers everything around him pure. But our sex education, or rather its complete lack of it, is capable of generating an excessive prejudice from this purity and turning the natural into the illicit, thereby generating interest. When you can’t, you want to try. And the kids try…

But if by the age of three the child does not yet understand what he did badly, then at the age of six he is already ashamed and sincerely wants to wean himself from the bad habit. Therefore, when suddenly you suddenly find a baby playing with the genitals, do not faint. Endurance required. Calmly, without emotions, but strictly explain to the baby that this is ugly and it is impossible to do this, that he is already big and should play other games. And if your child is healthy, then this disapproval is quite enough for him to switch his interest to please you.

So, at the age of three, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, and because of this, he cannot engage in it. But very often, without realizing it, we ourselves generate the prerequisites for onanism in him in the future. And the main of these prerequisites is again the wrong upbringing, when the child feels that he is not needed and, moreover, unloved. And this torments him so much that he tries to distract himself and looks for a way of distraction, as a compensation for everything. And if at this time he accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out anxiety and makes his life more pleasant, the child will already consciously engage in it in order to evoke more positive emotions and forget his hardships against the background of them.

When the baby does not feel affection and warmth and is sensitive to separation to the point of vulnerability, and the mother does everything to separate from him, and even registers the baby not just in a kindergarten, but in a round-the-clock group, he withdraws into himself in protest and looks for a way to discharge himself. He seeks… and finds.

Only children are especially vulnerable and sensitive. They have no brothers and sisters with whom it is possible to communicate. And they have to depend on the mood of their parents. And the mood is different. Quite often — not quite good, and this is a rebound on the child. When your child has an active temperament, he immediately looks for a new outlet for himself. In general, as a rule, discharge through masturbation is more characteristic of active children, «kopush» just suck their fingers.

Another reason for onanism is when the baby suffers after learning that the birth of a child of the opposite sex was expected at home. He is a boy, and daddy wants a girl…

And even your forced feedings are the cause of this pathological habit, especially when parents fight with the baby, and push and pour into it what is needed and what is not needed, only causing disgust for food. Remember, when a child does not experience the pleasure of food, then one of the most sensitive areas of the body is turned off. And this zone — the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth — although reflexively, is connected with another sensitive zone — the genital one. And if the mouth area is “silent”, then the genital area is excited, and this worries the baby. He begins to touch the genitals and feels how the excitement is removed. You go on force-feeding the baby, it goes on discharging. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Itching in the genital area is possible when the baby has exudative diathesis, diaper rash, worms, when you wrap him up too much and put tight clothes on him.

The child’s genitals can become irritated when hygiene requirements are not observed or when you teach him to observe them too carefully, which leads to the appearance of specific sensations and a desire to cause them.

And even physical punishments (spanking and spanking) contribute to a rush of blood to the genital area of ​​​​the baby, involuntarily sexually arousing. Excessively sweet and very rich meat food with a small amount of water drunk, causing itching in the genital area, often also causes onanism.

Quite often, young children «imitate» older children with increased sexual interest. Such cases of «imitation» sometimes «infect» entire children’s groups.

However, whatever the reason, masturbation is a way to discharge nervous tension. And if suddenly it appeared in your child, look for where the sources of tension are. Do not attach undue importance to onanism. This is not something out of the ordinary, breaking the life of a baby. So no need to intimidate him. Your threats are often worse than masturbation. It is they, and not the pathological habit itself, that can cripple the future of the child.

How should parents behave with a child engaged in masturbation:

• Find the cause and eliminate it.
• Do not subject to interrogations and examinations.
• Do not be ashamed, especially in front of strangers.
• In no case do not scold or intimidate.
• Try to give your child maximum attention.
• Adjust his diet.
• Let them wear loose clothing.
• In the daily routine, focus on water procedures, walks in the fresh air.
• Create opportunities to connect with peers.
• Love and understand!

How NOT to behave parents with a child engaged in masturbation:

• To shame, emphasizing his inferiority. Always blame him for being bad.
• Intimidate.
• Scold and subject to physical punishment.
• Lose contact with peers.
• Limit physical activity.
• Force feed.
• Do not observe hygiene measures or observe them excessively.
• When the cause of onanism is unknown, it is necessary to consult a specialist: a urologist and a gynecologist, and sometimes a neurologist.