Being a mother in Sri Lanka: the testimony of Amanthi, mother of two children

Amanthi spent her childhood in Sri Lanka, where she is from. She tells us about the daily life of little Sri Lankans.

Play baseball and eat mangoes

« Shall we go to the rice fields after school? My girlfriend asked me every day. I answered him with a big smile. In Sri Lanka, school ends around 13 p.m. As a child, I remember taking the bus with all my friends to go home to the countryside and play in the large rice fields behind our houses, when the sun was still very strong. We were a bunch of eight or ten kids, we all looked after each other. It created very strong bonds that I kept! Our parents worked and it was quite normal that we fend for ourselves. Anyway, we didn’t need their help. Our freedom was so dear to us! We played “Elle” every afternoon, a form of Sri Lankan baseball – after harvest, the land in the paddy fields remained dry, so it was a perfect ground for running. We would steal mangoes from the neighbors and do all kinds of nonsense. Paradoxically, we were really responsible – much more than today’s children, who are supervised and ultimately not very independent.

In Sri Lanka, everyone meditates 

In the evening, before going to bed, we meditated. Sri Lankan children start to meditate from the age of 6, it teaches them to be calm and attentive. Meditation means parking your mind in a specific place. My mom made me count to ten and I repeated it for five minutes. I’m sorry, but I did not reproduce it with my children – it could well serve them in the Parisian life, filled with stress!

Sri Lanka: children first!

In Sri Lanka, priority is given to children. Even at the table, we serve the children first, then the women and then the men. Children do not have to stay at the table, as in France. They eat and they can go and play. Sometimes it creates a hell of a mess, but it’s real joy! Food is still very important. For example, everyone wants to feed the pregnant woman, who is a kind of “saint” for Sri Lankans. Neighbors and friends bring daily food (especially vegetable curry cooked in banana leaves), sweets and fruit. A pregnant woman must eat for two! Sri Lankan children are used to eating a lot of spices from a very young age. The first fruits and vegetables are mashed okra, small bananas, papaya (known to aid infant digestion), and fresh pomegranate juice.

In April, it’s summer vacation for all children. And they are the ones who organize the New Year’s party during which we eat the famous Kiribath – rice pudding made from coconut. Today, in Sri Lanka, birthdays are celebrated mostly, like everywhere in the world, but at the time it was not very common.

In Sri Lanka, we breastfeed on demand

The Sri Lankan mother remains Zen. We breastfeed on demand, we sleep with our children for years. When I was little, I slept with my family in the same room for two years – we put two or three beds together for my sister, my brother, our parents and me – and then with my sister. It was so nice! My son Navidu slept with me his first year and after that he slept in his room on his own. He understood that I needed my space, and he too was growing. I never told myself that it was necessary to do otherwise – I just followed my heart. I still remember how it felt as a child when I slept with my mom – I felt completely safe and it has given me a lot in life. It’s so important to feel loved so much.