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Acceptance of ourselves as we are has been talked about for a long time. And the idea seems reasonable. Only how to truly, not for a red word, accept yourself — sometimes an insecure, angry, lazy, notorious person? And what will it give us? The psychologist says.
To accept yourself, you must first of all agree that you are now, at this moment, “such a” person. This is your reality. The best version of yourself exists only in your head. What to do next?
1. Take responsibility
Of course, you in the present are not only the result of your choices and decisions, but also of your parents. However, childhood is over, it cannot be changed. So, you need not look for the guilty, but take responsibility for your life in your own hands. Understand and accept that the past and some circumstances that did not depend on you can no longer be changed. So you will stop fighting with yourself, and you can begin to change smoothly, carefully in relation to yourself. After all, internal conflict does not solve problems.
2. Compare yourself only to yourself
Comparing ourselves to another person who, in your opinion, has succeeded more, we feel our loss. It hurts us, deprives us of self-confidence and strength. And does not allow to be accepted as a value. But not noticing the success of other people is not an option. You just need to treat it more calmly, evaluate the conditions under which and how it was achieved. It is possible to learn from someone else’s experience — if you know that it will be useful to you.
3. Sometimes just «be»
Try to flow along in the river of time whenever you feel like it. Watch how the clouds float, how the crowns of trees are reflected in the water, listen to the sounds of a new morning. Consciously enjoy the moment, knowing that there are things to do somewhere ahead. And sometimes allow yourself to do nothing, merging with silence and trying to feel the world around. This is extremely important for filling with strength and energy.
4. Remember that you can do a lot.
You can take time to think about a decision. It is possible to make a decision immediately, at lightning speed. It is also possible to not fit into the norm or be unsuccessful. Respect and accept the ceiling of your abilities. Believe me, there are 1001 “I can” in life — this rule makes the process of accepting yourself many times more pleasant.
5. Learn to empathize with yourself
Demand, exploit, force yourself to do it through “I can’t” — please. We know and practice. But to allow yourself to live different feelings and states, not always easy and pleasant, — no. Meanwhile, by accepting our emotions, we reduce stress levels and increase our internal resource. And we find a person who will never let you down and leave.
6. Get used to rest
Many people are forced to live in a frenetic pace: constantly working and at the same time taking care of partners, young children and elderly parents. Having accepted such a way of life as the norm, albeit a forced one, we rarely think that our resources should not only be spent, but also replenished in time. It is necessary to learn to rest before the onset of stronger fatigue. And do it without feeling guilty or uncomfortable.
7. Try to be aware of your fears
Accepting yourself, you need to accept your fears. Not to live with them, afraid to change anything, but to find a way to work and «cure» them. Your fear is a kind of barrier that keeps you from dreaming or making an important decision. If it is realized, then you already have 50% success in overcoming it.
8. Don’t blame yourself for mistakes.
It is impossible to live life without making mistakes. But in reality there are no errors. There are consequences that come after you make a decision. They may suit you or not. It just needs to be accepted, because the experience has already been gained. Understand that you chose what you chose and did what you did. At the moment of making a decision, you have found the best possible option for you.
Let go of everything that did not happen, that was lost, lost, thrown to the wind. And then live with the idea that any result is possible. The main thing is not to destroy yourself for something in the past and do not be afraid of a terrible future.
Love yourself for your strengths and forgive your weaknesses — these are the two main principles that will help you accept yourself for who you are.