8 consequences of low self-esteem

you hate yourself

Of course, there are times when we all dislike ourselves, feel disgust at some of our thoughts or actions, but if this happens too often, then this is a classic sign of low self-esteem. Self-hatred is characterized by feelings of anger and frustration about who you are and an inability to forgive yourself for even the most innocent mistakes.

What to do with it?

Stop your internal dialogue. Your inner critic harbors self-hatred, so the first step is to silence the voice in your head by consciously forcing yourself to repeat positive responses to every negative thought that comes up.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Nobody is always good or bad. Something good doesn’t make you a saint, just like something bad doesn’t make you a terrible person. It may take you a long time to forgive yourself. This is absolutely normal.

Drive away your negative beliefs. You probably feel this way because your environment (parents, ex-partners, or yourself once) imposed these images on you. Don’t be afraid to rewrite your own script and recast your role – it’s your life.

You are obsessed with the pursuit of perfection

Perfectionism is one of the most destructive aspects of low self-esteem. A perfectionist is one who lives with a constant sense of failure because, despite his impressive accomplishments, he never feels like he’s done enough.

What to do with it?

– Be realistic. Consciously consider how reasonable your goals are before striving for them. Remember that life is generally imperfect, and perfection, in fact, simply does not exist.

Recognize that there is a huge difference between failing at something you do and total failure. Don’t confuse these things.

– Stop making an elephant out of a fly. Perfectionists tend to neglect small things. They simply do not look at the big picture, paying attention to small flaws that often do not matter. Step back more often and be proud of what you’ve done.

you hate your body

A badly distorted vision of your body is also associated with low self-esteem. This means that any little thing, whether it’s someone’s joke about a big nose or a mole on their face, can affect the way you see and present yourself. This may prevent you from taking care of your health and appearance, as you feel unworthy of it.

What to do with it?

– Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is a pathetic thief of joy that leads to self-doubt. Accept the fact that everyone is different and remember your strengths.

– Watch your health. Eating healthy and exercising regularly will not only make you feel better physically, but will also lead to the release of endorphins – hormones of joy.

– Take care of your appearance. People with distorted vision of their bodies often stop making efforts, believing that there is no point in it. And the meaning is there.

You think you’re not doing anything useful

We all tend to periodically doubt certain areas of our lives, but a deep sense of worthlessness comes from the belief that you are not as valuable as others. It is important to understand that self-esteem will not give you someone else, but you need to build it yourself.

What to do with it?

Understand that every person has their own talents. We should learn about them and be proud of them, believing that we are worthy people.

Stop thinking that others are better than you. You can notice someone’s dignity, but not to the detriment of yourself. Do not think that if your colleague is quickly moving up the career ladder, and your friend won the dance competition, then they are better than you. Remember yourself and your talents.

“Keep in mind that the way others treat us is only our fault. If you lower yourself in the dialogues, they will treat you that way. Realize that you are a worthy person and treat yourself with respect. Then other people will respect you.

you are too sensitive

This is the most painful aspect of low self-esteem. Whether you’re being criticized or feeling crushed by any comment directed at you, it’s important to stop feeling pathetic.

What to do with it?

– Listen to what people are saying. But soberly assess whether a comment is true or not before deciding how to treat it.

“Realize that you can take care of yourself. If the criticism is unfair, say you disagree.

– Be proactive. If, nevertheless, there is truth in criticism, do not start reproaching yourself and hide in a corner. It is better to listen to criticism and conclude that something needs to be changed in order to become better.

– Move on. Repeating over and over what upset you, you only hammer it deep into your memory, and this is not good.  

Are you afraid and worried

Fear and belief that you are powerless to change anything in your life is incontrovertibly linked to low self-esteem.

What to do with it?

Distinguish between genuine fears and unfounded ones. Back up your worries with facts. For example, you may feel that it’s pointless to get promoted because you don’t think you can get it. How true is this statement when you have the facts in front of you?

– Build confidence by facing fears. Make a kind of pyramid of fears, putting the biggest fear at the top, and the smallest fears at the bottom. The idea is to work your way up the pyramid, dealing with each fear and increasing your confidence in your abilities.

You get angry often

Anger is a normal emotion, but it gets distorted when you have low self-esteem. When you don’t value yourself, you start believing that your own thoughts and feelings are not important to others. Pain and anger can build up, so even small things can cause outbursts of rage.

What to do with it?

– Learn how to stay calm. One way is to not let your feelings disappear and then you suddenly explode. Instead, express your feelings right away.

– Abstract. If the above doesn’t work, move away from the situation and breathe slowly to slow your heart rate and return your body to a relaxed state.

“Just don’t do it. People with low self-esteem often get angry and then feel bad when they struggle to fix something. Just don’t choose rage.

You try to please everyone

One of the biggest problems people with low self-esteem have is the feeling that they have to be liked by others in order for them to love and respect them in return. As a result, people often feel hurt and used.

What to do with it?

– Learn to say no. Your value does not depend on the approval of others – people love you for who you are, not for what you do for them.

– Have a healthy selfishness. Or at least think about your needs. People with healthy self-esteem know when it’s important to put them first.

– Set your boundaries. Resentment often comes from family and friends who are offended that you can’t do something. Start setting your boundaries so that you are clear about what you want to do and what you don’t. And then you will be relieved.

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