5 things you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship. Never

1. You are not a priority for a partner.

As it usually happens: love literally knocks you down, my partner and I completely immerse ourselves in each other, forgetting about friends, family, hobbies, and only with time everything comes into balance. Usually, but not always.

If you have just started dating, and your partner spends as much time with friends as before, «squeezing» meetings with you into his busy schedule (not only work, but also personal), this should alert you: perhaps your feeling is not mutual or you are not passionate enough to drop things and rush to a meeting.

When someone is a priority for us, we care about his or her emotional needs, desires, states; in a healthy relationship, a space is formed that is safe for both, and what kind of security can we talk about if we feel rejected?

2. Emotional, verbal or physical abuse

As a rule, everything starts with subtle signals: it suddenly turns out that it is important for a partner to know with whom you are talking and seeing (and if you agree to meet with friends, this can cause misunderstanding and resentment), whose photos you like and comment on social networks.

Then they begin to “harmlessly” make fun of you, pressing on sore spots, and if you try to resist, they say that you made it all up and you can’t be so sensitive / so touchy. Alas, when we are in love, such things are easy to forgive. It’s easy to believe that it’s really our fault — we ourselves pissed off», «brought it up, said something wrong, dressed wrong.

Self-confidence is melting before our eyes, we reassure ourselves that we are not “really” offended, and even if the partner raises his hand against us, we convince ourselves and those around us that this is the first and last time. The only thing you need to know about such relationships is that you need to get out of them as soon as possible. Ideally, with the support of those you trust.

3. Diminishing your aspirations and goals

It is impossible to build a healthy and happy relationship with someone who does not «cheer» for us, does not want us to succeed in what we do, what we strive for; who tells us that our dreams are “unrealistic” and that we should, for example, look for a “normal job”. There is a huge difference between constructive criticism and caustic comments, condemnation and exhortations to give up, give up.

4. Signs of attention to others

Imagine the situation: you are on a date with a man you like a lot, and he shamelessly flirts with a waitress. It’s unpleasant, isn’t it? And if you are not just dating this man, but are trying to build a family? And this happens all the time?

This, again, is about caring for the feelings of the other — or rather, about its complete absence. There are many dazzlingly beautiful men and women in the world, but, having fallen in love with someone, it is important to remain faithful to him both physically and emotionally. This, in fact, is the whole point, unless, of course, otherwise was originally agreed in your pair.

5. Lack of respect

When a partner tells your secrets to others, puts pressure on your sore spots, shames, neglects your feelings, does not think about how his actions will affect your condition, all this ultimately indicates a lack of respect for you, and without this you cannot build trust. , deep relationship.

Yes, relationships involve compromise — but this does not mean that you need to endure pain and put up with what is unpleasant for you, constantly adjust and infringe on yourself in some way. There can be many partners, but life is one, so stop ignoring the alarm bells and enduring unacceptable behavior simply because you are afraid to be alone.

Make your own list of what you are absolutely not ready to put up with, and promise yourself that you will find a partner who will treat you the way you deserve.