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Do you tend to endlessly weigh the pros and cons in an attempt to make a choice? Try to draw a problem or jump in time and talk to yourself in the future. Or draw a “square of Descartes”. We are sure that one of these methods will definitely work.
We face the need to make decisions every day. But for someone, the process is given for “one, two, three”, and for someone it gives a lot of experiences. Sometimes a decision has to be literally nurtured on the basis of doubts and fears. How to stop rushing between options and waste energy on it and learn to make an informed choice?
1. Abstract emotionally
If possible, it is worth postponing this process and returning to it in a calm state, when the passions subside and the devil will not be as terrible as he is painted. There is a high probability that the problem will either be solved by itself with the best outcome, or will lose relevance. This approach is recommended to students and followers by the spiritual leader of Buddhists, the Dalai Lama.
2. Don’t back yourself into a corner
As Albert Estein said, “A problem cannot be solved at the same level at which it arose.” So, having soberly assessed the situation, you need to try to move to a new level of looking at the problem and make a decision. How to do it? For example, by schematically depicting the problem on paper in the form of a drawing with clear boundaries. The next step is to go beyond these boundaries. “Often we find it difficult to find a solution, because we subconsciously limit ourselves to the territory of the drawing,” wrote Bernard Weber. “But nowhere does it say that you can’t go beyond it. Conclusion: to understand the system, you need to go beyond it.”
3. Use the method of reverse reasoning
This method is widely used in game theory: with its help, participants calculate the path to victory, it consists in the following. You need to “untangle” the tangle on paper from the decision made to the present moment, thinking through the possible steps and their consequences in reverse chronological order. Let’s say you need to decide how to get to your destination quickly and inexpensively. The destination is the decision made, that is, the starting point. Steps that could lead to this point: plane, train, car. Consider the option of an aircraft – is it a regular flight or a charter one? If regular, then direct or with a transplant? If with a transfer, then in Moscow or St. Petersburg? Etc.
Thus, you need to “unravel” all the options. In the end, you should get a diagram that looks like a branched tree. It remains to draw the most optimal path and discard unnecessary actions.
4. Apply the coaching method of stretching over time
If you can’t draw and calculate the steps, try to see yourself at the moment when the decision has already been made and the consequences are quite clear. What can you tell yourself from that point? What to warn against, what to advise?
5. Use the “square of Descartes”
The method boils down to four questions to ask yourself:
- What will happen if this happens?
- What happens if this doesn’t happen?
- What will not happen if this happens?
- What will not happen if this does not happen?
Having received the answers, it remains to weigh what will be best for you and what you can easily do without. Whatever decision you made, it was the only right one under the circumstances. You can never disprove this.