Contents
Why it is necessary to talk more about female pleasure
Gender
Making sexuality part of conversations helps to have a better relationship with our body
There are certain things that, if you don’t talk about them, it seems that they don’t exist. Many times, that something is part of the public conversation and begins to appear on television, or in the movies, is the way to make it visible; other times, this can be just another stone on your roof. That happens with the concept of “Female pleasure”, something intriguing of all women and that, due to its (almost always) poor representation on the screens, is distorted in the imaginary collective.
For this reason, due to having a wrong conception of it, or feeling ashamed when speaking it in public, many women do not focus on themselves, and feel that they are missing something, but do not know what. “The role of women and their sexuality in the cinema has always been an ellipsis: a kiss and then move on to traditional intercourse,” explained Valérie Tasso, writer, sexologist and LELO ambassador, during the presentation of “Soraya Wave”, a of the brand’s news. «The feminine desire has always been represented as a supplement to the masculine“, He commented, to which he added that, generally” female sexuality has been a kind of anecdote in the cinema; it has never been used to show who is the character that this woman represents ».
Bad women
But it is not only on the audiovisual level. On a day-to-day basis, it is also a topic that many times, it is not only difficult to talk about it, but it is simply ignored. Raquel Graña, psychologist, sexologist and coach comments that, although now it is «invisible» less than before, “There is still a long way to go.” In general, she speaks like a woman who enjoys her body without shame and is often branded in real life, but also in audiovisual representation, as a “bad woman.” “We continue to need to talk more about this issue so that it becomes normal,” he says.
Valérie Tasso also addressed this “demonization” of women who expressed their desire. He gave several examples of films in which, at the same time that women who were owners of their desire and confident were shown, they were given a tinge of “evil” by describing those characteristics as bad. One of the examples is “Dangerous friendships” (Stephen Frears, 1988), whose protagonist, Tasso commented, “that she has no problem choosing her lovers when and how she wants, but that for that reason, she is captured as a villain ». He also mentioned “Fatal Attraction” (Adrian Lyne, 1988) and “Basic Instinct” (Paul Verhoeven, 1992), two films in which, in exchange for being protagonists with power over their own desire, they are the villains of the stories, and in both cases branded as “crazy.” In the last example, Tasso emphasized the idea of giving this evil character in this case “to a bisexual, desiring and autonomous woman.” In this way, he groups those traits with a model of behavior that is most avoidable. Finally, he mentioned the femme fatales, an archetype of a character that not only always ends badly, but also stigmatizes and is shown as “the downfall of men” for being autonomous “.
Beyond sex
If we go back to the XNUMXst century, we find that the situation has changed: there are less and less qualms about talking about female pleasure and it is, through conversation, how it becomes normalized. “You have to understand that both men and women can have a high sexual desire and it is not always associated with a sex,” recalls Raquel Graña. Although he explains that there are studies that associate high sexual desire with testosterone, he affirms that this “is not always linked, since there are many factors that are determining factors.”
«For example, sexual relations unite you with the other person, they liberate you, you feel pleasure, you connect on another level. There are many reasons why they want to stay, “says the sexologist, who recalls that it is important “Start talking more about it and not associating it with a sex.” «I have girls in consultation who complain that it is their partners (men) who do not want to have sexual relations. They have low sexual desire and, many times, prefer to hide it under the rug, “he concludes.