Why do successful people study Chinese philosophy?

Stop looking for yourself

Today they like to say: it is important to find yourself, to understand who you are. Oriental thinkers would be skeptical of this idea. The many-faced, disorderly constructions we call personalities come from without, not from within. They consist of everything we do: how we interact with others, how we react to what is happening to us, what we do in life.

Besides, we are always different. We behave differently depending on whether we are talking to a mother, a close friend or a colleague. Each of us is a chest full of stuff that bumps into other chests. Each collision changes our configuration. What we are is the result of constant change and the influence of new experiences on our lives.

Don’t Be Authentic — Be Ready to Change

The next step that popular psychology tells us is to be true to ourselves. But the greatest ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius, who was born in the sixth century BC, would not agree with such an approach. The problem is, he would say, authenticity does not lead to freedom. We are how we behave in the moment. This means that there is simply no single “real I” — after all, we cannot act, think and feel the same way all the time.

The «Real Self» is just a snapshot that captures our personality at a present and very short moment in time. When we allow this image to be our guide, we are captured by it. We do not allow new experience into ourselves and, thus, close the path to development.

Don’t let your feelings guide you — choose a direction and your feelings will follow.

Another consequence of our obsession with authenticity is that we absolutize feelings, our intuitive “likes” and “dislikes”, “want” and “don’t want”. As a result, we can reject what seems incomprehensible and distant to us. For example, to give up the idea of ​​opening your own business, referring to the fact that business is supposedly “not about us”.

Confucius taught that the actions we take bring about changes within us. Our emotional reactions are erratic, but we can direct them in the right direction if we prepare it in advance. For example, if we practice in front of a mirror, giving our face the right expressions, we can develop the ability to quickly change emotions — and in doing so, we will really learn not to dwell on unpleasant experiences.

By doing so, we become who we want to be. Someone is proud of their difficult character, declaring: «But I can tell others in the face what I think of them.» But rudeness and intemperance are not synonymous with honesty. Developed emotional intelligence means not only the open expression of emotions, but also a rich emotional vocabulary. By allowing our behavior to guide our feelings (rather than the other way around), we can change and become better over time.

Don’t make big decisions — take small steps

What is wrong with a life that is planned five, ten, fifteen years ahead? When we make decisions about our future, we assume that our personality will not change in any way during this time. But we ourselves are constantly changing: our tastes, values, ideas about the world are changing. The more actively we live, the more intense the internal development takes place. The paradox is that the modern understanding of success requires a combination of incompatible things: constant self-improvement and a clear idea of ​​your future.

Instead of making global promises, the method of the ancient Chinese philosopher Mencius is to go to the great through the small and doable. When you want to radically change your career path and do something new, start small — internships, volunteering. So you decide whether the new path suits you, whether it will be a joy to you. Notice your reactions to new experiences: let them guide you.

Don’t be strong — be open

Another popular notion is that the strongest wins. We are told that in order to succeed, you need to be assertive and get your way. But the philosopher Lao Tzu, in his book Tao Te Ching (presumably written in the XNUMXth century BC), argues for the advantage of weakness over brute force.

Weakness is often associated with passivity, but that is not what Lao Tzu is talking about. He insists that we should see all phenomena in the world as connected to each other, not separate. If we can penetrate deeply into the nature of this connection, we will learn to understand what is happening and to hear others.

This inner openness opens up new opportunities for influence that we cannot obtain through force. Refusing to fight makes us wiser: we stop seeing the situation as a path to victory and defeat, and other people as allies or opponents. This approach not only saves mental strength, but also opens up scope for finding non-standard solutions that are beneficial to everyone.

Don’t focus on your strengths, try different things

We are told: find your strengths and hone them from an early age. If you have the makings of an athlete, join the football team; If you like to spend time reading books, take up literature. We develop our natural inclinations until they become part of us. But if we get too carried away with this idea, we run the risk of withdrawing and stop doing everything else.

Ancient Chinese philosophers would rather call for focusing on what we do not know how, so as not to fall into prejudice. If you think your movements are clumsy, take up dancing. If you think you’re incapable of languages, start learning Chinese. The goal is not to get better in all these areas, but to experience your life as a continuous flow — that’s what makes it complete.

Don’t practice mindfulness, act

We hear about awareness all the time. Allegedly, it is she who will help achieve peace and tranquility in a rapidly changing life. Mindfulness training is among the standard tools for improving productivity and efficiency in business schools, personal growth trainings, and self-development workshops.

Buddhism is a doctrine that involves a departure from the «I». The Confucian idea of ​​self-improvement is about something else. It is about interacting with the world and developing yourself through this interaction, through each new meeting, each experience. Confucianism supports the idea of ​​being active in order to become a better person.

The modern assumption is that we have freed ourselves from a repressive, traditional world and live as we please. But if we consider the traditional world as one in which people passively accepted the state of things and tried to fit into a stable existing order, then we are those who live traditionally.

Don’t choose your path, create it

The modern world is presented to us as a space of freedom in which we can choose how to live. But often we ourselves limit our possibilities, adhering to the usual routes and relying on the established rules and procedures that were established before we appeared. But if we want to succeed, we must be willing to go off the beaten track. Perhaps even get lost.

The Tao Te Ching says, «The path that can be traversed (in any particular way) is not a sure path.» If you believe that you can live your life sticking to a plan once and for all, you may be disappointed.

We are complex beings, and our desires are constantly pulling us in different directions. If we recognize this and constantly study what this or that experience gives us, we will learn to understand ourselves better and respond more sensitively to external changes. By constantly attuning ourselves, like a sensitive instrument, we can become more open, and at the same time, resilient to shocks.