“I understood that there really was a baby! “
“I went to the first ultrasound with slight trepidation. Would there really be a baby? Would there be only one? And then when the sonographer showed us the baby, I was surprised. It was so well finished, so complete, with the little fingers, just as it should be. I expected to see a tadpole! Suddenly, I realized that there was someone in there! That this little shrimp was my future child. I walked out relieved. I smiled with my partner, we were good. We took a long look at the photos of the echo afterwards. ”
Thibaut, two children.
“I lived a moment of pure magic. “
I was super stressed. I had a terrible fear. Afraid that he is missing an arm, that he has one too many. When the sonographer put in the probe, it took me a while to see where the baby was. Suddenly I saw. It was a big nut, but it was our baby. Wow, I felt an immense emotion rise! I was crying. I really experienced a moment of pure magic. My partner had her eyes riveted on the screen, fascinated too. When she turned and saw my emotion, hers increased tenfold. I have incredible memories of it.
Antoine, two children, creator of the “Monsieur Simon” site.
“This review has alarmed us for nothing. “
“I got to the exam pretty cool. I was happy: this child was expected, I found my pregnant partner very beautiful. On the screen I saw a three month old embryo that looked pretty strong to me. He reminded me of a very pretty little bunny. Suddenly, the sonographer, in a not very friendly way, told us that the nuchal translucency measurement was not good. It felt like a cold shower to me. She even said that we had 9 months to have an abortion if he had a disability. It didn’t scare me to have a child with Down’s syndrome. My wife had to do a lot of exams. In fact, everything was fine. We were alarmed for nothing. “
Thomas, two children.
“Ultrasound comes to stop the fantasy of abnormality”
“The first ultrasound, around three months, is an important moment for the father. The pregnancy is barely visible. The mother knows she is pregnant, she feels it in her body. She may have symptoms (fatigue, nausea, etc.) that help her become aware of what is going on. But the father has difficulty in representing this reality which is not yet visible. Seeing the baby suddenly makes it all very concrete. It’s moving, it’s alive, we even hear his heart beating. It is an important step, which has become a ritual, which will support the father in his journey towards fatherhood. It is also a moment of sharing, since both parents will go through different emotions at the same time: anxiety, relief, joy. This is what emerges in these testimonies. Two of the fathers speak of the anguish of abnormality. Ultrasound stops this fantasy of an abnormal child. In addition, three arms, that never happens! Some fathers cannot always make themselves available, but it’s a shame to miss this moment of sharing, even if the mother brings back the photos afterwards! “
Didier Lauru, psychoanalyst and psychiatrist author of “Father-daughter, a story of gaze” ed. Albin Michel.