Contents
This is what you have to do to get over an ex
Couple
Although it may not seem like it, a love breakup can become an excellent learning and growth process
Even being in the XNUMXst century, we still do not find the universal recipe that helps us overcome a heartbreak. And it is that a duel for this type of disaffection brings with it a lot emotional charge, mainly sadness, guilt, loneliness, uncertainty and a good stream of low self-esteem, but nothing that time does not heal with the help of our loved ones or even an expert in the field.
However, there is no doubt that some people take a longer time to get over breakups than others. While some are able to move from one relationship to another in a short time, others spend much more regretting and questioning their past relationships.
Researchers at Stanford University have studied why breakups are more difficult for some people, and the analysis concludes that those who linked the rejection to some aspect of their identity suffered the most after the end of the relationship. The expert psychologist in personal development Beatriz Gil assures that when the person questions their own worth and personal image because of the breakup, “it becomes more difficult to cope with” because it makes them feel rejected and abandoned.
«These people could get trapped in the idealization of the ex-partner, and being aware of what the other does on social networks, through their posts on Instagram, their ‘stories’, or the last connection on WhatsApp, is very harmful “, warns the expert. Therefore, this behavior makes us always keep our ex-partner in mind, which makes it difficult to forget, essential to pass the duel.
According to the psychologist, these are some “steps” that must be followed to make this “duel” more bearable, quick and painless:
1. Zero contact. Beatriz Gil Bóveda (@ psique.cambio) comments that this step is “crucial.” Minimizing contact minimizes the risk of relapse. “Zero calls, zero messages,” says the expert bluntly.
2. Focus on you. This step means that you take care of yourself, that you dedicate time. “Recover your ‘hobbies’, if you have lost them, learn new things, interact more with your friends, listen and accept your emotions,” encourages the psychologist. It is important that you treat yourself with affection.
3. Focus on the here and now. Instead of thinking about the future you have planned together, pay attention to today. Beatriz Gil Bóveda proposes that you try to do something every day that fulfills you, and that you set goals, always enjoying the little things.
4. Write what you feel. Apparently, writing will help you capture your feelings and identify them. “Over time you will be able to see the situation from another perspective,” he concludes.
5. Ten paciencia. As you already know, all grief requires time, therefore each person must carry out their process, and each process will take a different time.
Therefore, to get out of a couple breakup, you have to validate your emotions, but without holding on to them. Each process is unique and if this duel is difficult, remember that you can ask for help.
As Beatriz Gil Bóveda comments, a breakup can become an excellent learning and growth process: “Every experience lived, every emotion felt, and even suffered, has allowed us to be who we are now.”