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The couple relationships that await us in the «new normal»
Couple
The almost three months of confinement leave a dent in both those in a relationship and singles
It seems that, finally, we really see the light at the end of the tunnel. The phases advance, we go out into the street as if we had just woken up from a long slumber and begin to assimilate the newly coined concept of “New normal”. But, going back to our day-to-day life a few months ago is impossible. The coronavirus has removed the foundations of our life and although there are more visible changes, such as the already mandatory use of masks or the new (and difficult) social distance, what we have experienced has an impact on all levels.
It may change our relationship with food, the way we work and, of course, our relationships. Both those who have spent in confinement as a couple, separated from them or all this catharsis has caught them single, what they have experienced will change the way they bond, coexistence and also sexual relations.
«Going to work, going out on the street, interacting with other people … are elements of protection of relationships. Confinement has been a seed for discussion and empowerment of the most negative part of a relationship», Explains Dr. François Peinado, a urological surgeon specializing in sexual medicine. On the other hand, he comments that many of the couples who have spent these days apart have not been aware of the “destructive factors”, which has led to the opposite effect: the need for the other person, coupled with the absence of intimacy. , makes you want to see and live with the couple again. “Humans often have conflicting feelings depending on the situation we live in, but this never experienced reality has put many relationships to the test,” he points out.
Come out of confinement stronger?
Within couple relationships, sexual relationships have also been affected by the situation. “These are strange times and sexuality is not separated from life and its variables,” says psychologist and sexologist Silvia Sanz. He explains that couples who have lived together in this stage “have probably seen how their libido has been affected.” “There are many aspects that influence this circumstance: uncertainty, worries, stress, anxiety, work or the loss of it, the little time available for privacy when being with children or other family members at home …” , lists. Therefore, the professional encourages couples to “Nurture the relationship” And remember that you can’t wait for passion to “find us and the relationship is magically renewed.”
On the other hand, the professional explains that people who do not have a partner and have passed single confinement also face a paradigm shift. «For many people who during the period of isolation have not been able to enjoy sexual intercourse, boredom, loneliness and anxiety have encouraged them to take refuge in other ways of relating, “says the sexologist. This is where dating apps come into play, already fully established in our society but now taking on a greater role. «The mobile screen protects us, not only about the virus, but for shy people it is also a way of emotional distance, and they may even feel more uninhibited and less shameful “, comments Silvia Sanz, who adds that video dating has been a discovery in this new stage and may become a new way to flirt.
A new way to flirt
When it comes to flirting and approaching strangers, we are going to move with different social norms. “It’s going to be different but it doesn’t have to be worse”, points out Silvia Sanz and adds: “At the moment we won’t be able to go to a bar; human contact will take time to normalize, but we will be discovering new ways of meeting people ». The professional explains that knowing each other with a certain physical distance and even in a virtual way will be further enhanced before reaching a more intimate contact. “In this way, we can get a certain emotional and mental connection that allows us to trust and have sex,” he says.
Although the social realm is affected, the ravages on the physical plane also have (negative) consequences in intimate relationships, especially sexual ones. “The moments of uncertainty with fear of the future work, the difficult coexistence with the partner, the fear of the transmission of the virus … are clear negative factors to have a satisfactory sexual relationship or reasons for the sexual desire to be lower,” says the doctor François Peinado, who explains that «many sexual dysfunctions of an organic nature such as erectile dysfunction experienced by many patients have repercussions in the psychological sphere, which is why both routes feed into each other ». For this reason, the expert recommends that couples “be imaginative and sincere in the wishes and concerns they have”, a key step to overcome the consequences of the period of confinement.
Regarding people who have sporadic relationships, Silvia Sanz comments that the fear of having relationships with other people can generate that increase autoeroticism further. “The mind is the sexual organ par excellence and perhaps it is a new way to promote different encounters, but not worse,” he closes.