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Rebel children would be more successful in their professional lives!
A latest American study launches a paving stone in the pond. Stubborn children are more likely to succeed in their professional careers than others. This study was conducted over 40 years by psychologists. 700 children between 9 and 12 years old were followed up and then seen again in adulthood. The experts were mainly interested in the character traits of toddlers in their childhood. Conclusion: Children ignoring the rules and defying parental authority were more likely to be successful later in their professional life. Explanations …
Stubborn child, a child who opposes
“It all depends on what is meant by a stubborn child. A child can persist in his refusal, not obey immediately and not necessarily be a so-called temperamental child, with associated behavioral disorders ”, explains Monique de Kermadec, psychologist first of all. In the study, the American researchers analyzed the following character traits: patience, their feeling of inferiority, felt or not, the relationship to authority, respect for rules, responsibility and obedience to parents. The authors’ conclusion demonstrates a link between stubborn or disobedient children and a better professional life in adulthood. For the psychologist, ” the child is especially opposed to what he sees as an arbitrary decision. His refusal is then his way of saying: I also want to have the right to decide », She explains. Disobedient children are those who will not respond to the adult’s request. “Some parents, in fact, focus on the refusal of their toddler and do not perceive that their request is untimely and requires immediate execution. The child is then put in the place of an object that can be moved without preparation, without the possibility of anticipation. The very fact of evoking, for example, that we are going to go to the park, will be accepted in a different way depending on whether the child will have the possibility of preparing mentally for this outing or not, ”indicates Monique de Kermadec.
Children who assert themselves
For the specialist, disobedient children, by opposing the adult, would thus affirm their opinion. “To refuse is not necessarily disobedience, but a first step towards an explanation. The parent who allows the child to foresee that, in a few minutes, he will have to stop an activity, thus leaves him the choice to stop to get ready or to play a few more minutes, knowing that the time will be limited. In this case, the parent does not give up his authority and leaves the choice to the child, ”she adds.
Original children who stand out from the crowd
“These are children who do not necessarily fit into the established mold. They are curious, love to explore, understand, and need answers. They can refuse to obey in certain circumstances. Their curiosity allows them to develop an originality in their way of thinking and living. As they grow older, they will continue to pursue their path and some will prove to be more apt to succeed because they will be more autonomous and independent, ”explains the shrink. What is interesting about this study is that it gives a positive opinion on children who are often considered “negatively” because they disobey. The psychologist explains that the original people, who stand out from the crowd in their professional life, are children who have asserted themselves young.
“It is important that parents ask themselves why their child is so stubborn. “Am I asking too much of him?” Is it impractical for him? », Indicates Monique de Kermadec. Today’s parents manage to make themselves obeyed by establishing more dialogue, listening and exchange with their child. “It would be enough to ask the question to the child” why you tell me no all the time, what happens, are you unhappy? “. These kinds of questions can be of great benefit to the child. “If the child has trouble verbalizing what is wrong, a role play with soft toys can help grasp the emotional issues and unblock a situation with laughter. The child quickly understands that if his plush says no all the time, the game is quickly blocked, ”she explains.
Caring parents
For the psychologist, the benevolent adult is the one who leaves the choice to the child, which does not require him to do something authoritarian. The child can express himself, also oppose, but above all he understands why he must do such and such a thing. “Setting limits, enforcing a certain discipline is important. However, this should not turn the parent into a dictator! Certain situations deserve to be explained and are thus better understood and better accepted by the child. Discipline is not a balance of power. If she expresses herself in this way, the child will also be tempted to respond with a balance of power, ”she explains.
Rebellious but confident child
Many experts point out that rebellious people are naturally endowed with greater self-confidence.. Besides, to rebel, you have to have character! Personal development specialists have repeatedly said that this is one of the most defining traits for success in your personal life. This is the reason why the specialists of this study concluded that children who are sometimes nicknamed “mule heads” would be more likely to survive later.