Contents
Step 48: “Give your time to those with the power to stop it”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I explain how to manage loneliness: the biggest disease of the XNUMXst century
The disease of the XNUMXst century is… loneliness.
Oops … wait. That is not quite correct. A small nuance is missing that changes everything.
Loneliness is not a disease. The disease of the XNUMXst century is… the inability to manage it.
Little by little, people are going to be left more and more alone. “Is this a problem for me?” It depends. It will only be a problem to the extent that you have a dependency on people or a fear of not having a person or people with whom to share space and time. Do you remember Rung 7, “It’s Always Fear”? Whenever loneliness is a problem for you, you can conclude that there is an unhealed fear behind it. You will have to introspect and carry out the exercise of pulling the thread to identify the fear or fears that lead you to avoid or fear loneliness, and then work on them, observe them and count them (confess them) once after another, in order to, little little by little, get to conquer them.
– Anxo, but there is a Harvard study of more than eighty years of duration that says that people with better relationships in their lives and with less loneliness are the happiest.
The conclusion of that study is wrong. His interpretation is that if you have good relationships and do not live alone, you will live longer and with greater happiness, but it really is the other way around. Lasting relationships are not the cause of your happiness, but the effect of your Inner Success.
Misinterpretation: When I have good relationships on the outside, that balances me on the inside.
Correct Interpretation: When I have a good balance on the inside, it improves my relationships on the outside.
Therefore, the solution to the disease of the XNUMXst century is not to fill your life with people, since that, far from addressing your fears, perpetuates them. The solution is not to cross your fingers so that your children do not go to live very far; It is not about begging your partner not to leave you; It is not in praying to be lucky not to be a widower or widower. It is in … curing your feeling of dependency.
Every time, instead of trying to find the solution to your fear of loneliness by looking outside for people to eliminate it, you look inside for the reasons that cause that fear, in order to heal it, you have just taken a step that has a huge impact on your life: curiously, the quality of your relationships skyrockets. Why? Because it is infinitely easier to relate to a person who is healthy inside and with balance, that is, who lives from the White Bag (love), than with a person who faces the relationship to satisfy an unhealthy need for dependence, this is , from the Black Bag (fear).
Only when you find the internal balance that allows you to be perfectly comfortable with yourself will you be able to face relationships in the healthiest way possible. When you reach that point, you will be in a position to, now yes, apply this precious principle to yourself.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
Gift your time to those with the power to stop it.
@Angel