Contents
Step 31: “There is something infinitely more powerful than giving advice and setting an example”
The 88 rungs of happy people
In this chapter of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” I invite you to tame your language
Like the previous step, this one also has to do with the use of your language. Unlike him, this is not so much for your direct benefit, but for others, although when others benefit from the direct result, you benefit from the indirect result.
Before emitting any kind of phrase through your mouth, pass it through this filter: ¿build or destroy? After pronouncing it, will the world be a little better or a little worse? If you can imagine yourself fighting with all your might against a large tiger, then you can imagine how difficult it can sometimes be to fight your own tongue. These are the four formulas to win the battle and tame your tongue.
Formula 1: how to tame a complaining language
Maybe you hadn’t stopped to think about it, but every situation that life gives you is like a coin with two sides, the one you like the most and the one you like the least. And if you were to file the face you like the least with the intention of eliminating it, you would conclude that it is impossible to delete one without deleting the other.
There are always two. The formula consists of the following. Every time you want to complain about face A, force your tongue to find and thank face B. If you do it every time, then you will have turned each complaint wish into a reminder to express a thank you phrase. The good thing about the complaint ratio is that it is equivalent to the shadow-light ratio. Just as where there is gratitude there can be no shadow, where there is a heart full of thanks there cannot be a tongue full of complaints.
Change “complain” to “give thanks”
Formula 2: how to tame a tongue gift-tips
Stop giving advice because you want to give it and start giving it because the other wants to receive it. To do this, ask yourself these three questions. Is it a requested or unsolicited advice? Am I completely indifferent or I have a great wish for him to accept it? If he accepts it, who is happier, is it him or is it me? If in any of the three questions you have answered “the second”, then tame your language and shut it up. Although you disguise it as advice, it is not such (see rung 45).
Formula 3: tame the gossip-addicted tongue
Anxo, this is not gossip. It is a simple comment. Usually the former is more the former than the latter, but you don’t have to worry. I will give you the solution to differentiate them. To know which of the two things it is, simply understand that there is one dividing line that separates the healthy from the unhealthy, and that is determined by the following question: is there morbid? If there is not, then you have the green light, since it will be anecdotal and therefore something healthy. If there is, do not speak the comment as it will be gossip, and all gossip is destructive. If in doubt, be silent, as the unspoken word can always be pronounced, while the spoken word can never be unsaid.
Always speak well of those who are absent and you will win the trust of those who are present.
Formula 4: How to tame a dream-killer tongue
When someone comes to tell you about a project, a business or an initiative that they want to carry out, change a disappointing comment for one that edifies. Ask yourself: “If I say this, will his level of illusion increase or decrease?” If it is the latter, literally bite your tongue, if necessary, but whatever happens, do not say something that instead of elevating, crushing, or instead of giving life to dreams, kills them. If you consider that you must warn him of somethingDo it, but only after praising their initiative. Clap first, criticize later. Few things in life have such the great power of words, both to sink and to drive. Do me a huge favor and remember this beautiful principle forever:
When you step on a small worm you are killing a beautiful butterfly.
# 88StepsPeopleHappy
@Angel